Hello good people!
First off, can I please say... I hate spelling 'February"! I can never spell it right. I just hate it so much. And hate is a strong word. I feel like it should be spelled Febyouwherey. That would make my life a whole lot easier. I am not sure why the person who made up the names of the months felt they needed to make the second month difficult to spell.
Anyways, enough rambling about the spelling of Febuary. oops there I go spelling it wrong again. I am going to leave it that way. I like it.
My life has been super busy the past few days. But, I like when my life is busy. I have been getting ready for my yard sale. As you know, I am having a yard sale to raise money for my mission trip to Haiti. At first I thought that I would not have enough stuff to make a good yard sale. But, God has provided me so much. I have so many wonderful friends and family that have donated stuff. They have taken the time to search through their stuff and get it to me. That takes a lot and I am so grateful. I feel so loved. I am still getting a lot of stuff. This is going to be a huge yard sale. I hope I can make a good chunk of the money I need. Everything that does not sell is going to be donated to a homeless shelter or other type of shelter. Not only is the money from this yard sale going to a good cause, but we will be donating to the homeless after. What a great cause!
My other project that I have been working on is "Bows for Haiti". My beautiful friend Deanna Perlman makes the most beautiful hair bows. She has been kind enough to donate all of her profits during the month of march to me for my trip! I could not believe it when she told me she was doing that. Not only is she doing that, we are doing a 'one for one' project. Meaning, for every bow sold, she is making one to send with me to Haiti. I will be giving out these bows to the young ladies of Haiti. I am also making bows to take. I am hoping to have a good many to take with me! It is such a beautiful idea. The country is in such despair, and they need so much. It is overwhelming. But, besides the urgent need for things such as medical aid, food and water, the people would also love little gifts. All women, no matter what region of the world, want to feel beautiful. I am hoping these bows will bring a smile to their faces, and remind them that they are loved and beautiful. We make all different styles and have many different fabrics. Deanna and I are also working on planning a 'Bow Party'. This will work kind of like a Mary Kay party or Southern Living party. We are thinking about having two, one in Athens and one in Madison. We will invite everyone one afternoon to the house. We will have snacks, coffee and other such things. We will have different styles of bows on display for people to look at and try on. We will have samples of the fabrics that we have to choose from. People can custom design the bow that they want by picking the style and fabric colors. We will record their order and once we have them made we will mail it to them. :) But, the most exciting part is... you will have a chance to design a bow for a little girl in Haiti!! You can design a bow that you want to be given to a little girl in Haiti. We will also let you write a note to go with the hair bow. I am super excited about this! I am so grateful to have such great friends like Deanna. She did not have to help me, but she has went above and beyond to do this. She is super excited about this whole idea of taking bows out into the world and giving them to young women.
When I found out about this trip to Haiti, I automatically said I was 100% going. I did not think one minute about the money. I knew I was supposed to go, it was such a strong emotion, I cannot really explain it. But, when you know God is pushing you to do something, do not delay! Do it! Do not think about how you will do it, God will direct you the whole way. A few days after I committed, I began worrying about how I was going to pay for it. It is a lot of money, especially when I am running low at the moment! But, God has provided so many opportunities for me. He is making sure that I have the money. It really has not been a struggle at all. So many people have been willing to go above and beyond to help me. It shows me that if you just trust in God, things will turn out wonderfully.
I have learned not to worry so much. I have prayed that God will take away my awful anxiety problem. I am currently no longer on blood pressure medicine and my anxiety has went down tremendously. When I start getting overwhelmed with a situation, I give it to God. I have realized that all of my many plans do not always go according to plan. Actually, plans that I make rarely go accordingly. I used to get so upset when things went a different way then I planned, now I am learning to embrace it. I give it to God and I just go with the flow. I trust that God will help me get through any problem. You see, that has been one of my major problems the past few years. I used to not put my trust in God. I would try to get everything done myself. I would pretty much put God on hold and say 'God I know you say to put my burdens on you, but I just have so many and I cannot help but worry about them'. Never doubt the power of God. Never question whether he can do anything. I still struggle with this. But, it takes time.
Well, here is a little follow up on my last blog. I know I ranted and raved about the whole materialistic problem in America. Well, God has shown me a lot of things to go along with that. I have been studying the book of Matthew. Especially Matthew 6 and 7. Jesus tells us not to stress over the clothes we where or the food we eat. One thing that was so beautiful to me was when He said 'are not the flowers in the field beautiful, and do they worry about what they wear? If the best dressed person in the world stood next to one, they would not even compare". That is just so wonderful to hear. I also watch a video of a preachers sermon at a youth conference. This man was outraged, it reminded me of how I feel about this issue. It is a great video. This man got a lot of criticism, but all he did was tell the truth. A lot of people did not want to hear the truth. People like to hear things that make them excited, and make them feel good about themselves. But, the people of America need a wake up call. He talked about how America gives people the idea that just because they did an alter call once, they are saved. Americans take this too lightly. They get saved, and usually what happens next? Nothing. Going up to an alter call is just the beginning of a very long journey. Like he said, 70% of Americans are 'saved'. But, how many of them actually live like it? I know the past few years I thought I was saved and I did not live like it at all. It was all because I had this mentality that whatever I did, I was saved. That, my friend, is so wrong. I have finally come to realize it, and I want to spread this message to make others realize. Americans really do take this too lightly. In other countries, you know people truly believe because they could loose their life over it. So how do we know if we truly believe in America? By our acts. Now that does not mean going to church one or two days a week and doing a few good deeds. We need to be submerged in the Word. We need to live every aspect of our lives through Jesus. So many people in America are lukewarm. They may do a few things right, but they make up for it in other ways. There are so many things we need to change. If we are followers of the Almighty God, we should not be watching shows such as 'Jersey Shore', 'Keeping up with the Kardashians' and, especially, 'Skins'. We should not be dressing like the rest of the world. All of the promiscuity is ridiculous. And, not to mention all of the money spent on fashion. We should not be involved in certain activities. How do you think Jesus feels to hear you profess His name then go later that night go drink at a party? Relationships are no longer holy. There are so many things wrong in today's world. We worship celebrities and make them idols. God must be so saddened.
So, it is a time to get back to how it is supposed to be. We need to get the word out and show people how it is supposed to be done. That is the only way people will change. We are taught a certain way in America, and it is only getting worse.
I have been working on my life tremendously. I have been cleaning out my closet. It has about half of the stuff in it today than it had in it two weeks ago. I am taking down things in my room that add clutter. I am trying to make my life more God centered. It is so refreshing. I am not caught up on pleasing the world or trying to be like everyone else. It is something everyone should try. Clean out your stuff! Give to people who are in need!
Another exciting thing.. I am in my friend Danielle's wedding! I am so excited! The wedding is in June in Savannah. It is going to be beautiful. Not to mention the Danielle and Phil are so in love. I know it is true love. There is no doubt in my mind that God brought these two together for a reason. They deserve the best. I wish more relationships where like theirs. They better each other, and both are overflowing with God's love. You can look at them and see pure joy. Ahh, I love it! It makes me excited to find the guy God has made for me. I know he is out there somewhere.. just not sure where yet!
Until we meet again..
love--
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
"...then come, follow Me."
So a lot has been on my heart lately. I have not really written anything on here recently either. I have just been trying to deal with all of these emotions. As my relationship with God gets even stronger, I learn more and more about how I need to live my life. But, I do not see most 'christians' living this way. It hurts me so bad. It hurts me to think that I used to call myself a follower of Jesus the way I used to act. But, I have changed. The Spirit has been working very heavily in my life lately. It is like someone turned on a light bulb. I suddenly get it. I suddenly understand how I need to be living. I am sorry this blog is all over the place right now. But, I am just writing as thoughts come to mind, and my mind is all over the place. Literally, I feel like I am going crazy.
I am currently doing a bible study about how the church today is in a crisis. I believe this is VERY much true. I see so many people attending church, but outside of church, their behaviors do not reflect anything of God. It is as if church has become a social event. People attend to chit chat and look good for the community. People, people, PEOPLE!!!! What is going on?! What are we doing? This is not what Jesus commanded us to do. Things are getting so bad, it overwhelms me to think of all the changes that need to be made.
First, I want to express my concern for materialism in today's world. We have so much stuff. Stuff. stuff stuff stuff. There is no other word for it. It is cluttering our life. With so much clutter, how can there possibly be room for Jesus? We tend to stuff Him on the top shelf of our closets where the rest the 'stuff we use only on certain occassions' is. We live in a world where you are defined by what you have. At least that is what most people think. When you really and truly devote your life to Jesus, you realize none of that stuff matters. You realize our life here is only a faint whisper of what awaits us in heaven. You realize that you do not need to newest clothes, or shoes, or even seven jackets to survive. Would you survive with one jacket? Exactly. I think you get my point. So, instead of sitting here complaining about the world having materialistic problems. I decided to start with my life. I am uncluttering my life. It takes a lot more time than I realized it would. I went through one closet at first. I pulled out a few things. Then I went through it again, and got a few more things. But, it still just did not feel right. So, I prayed, and went back in there one more time. Let's just say there is a lot more free space in that closet now. I am going to do this to every bit of my space. I am collecting everything that is cluttering my life. Literally. This is a huge thing for me. It is tough. Everyone wants nice things. Everyone wants to have the cutest clothes or newest style. So, cleaning out my closet was tough. There were things that I wanted to hold on to, but I knew I did not need. It is refreshing now though. I feel like I can start to breath again. I feel like I am taking the first step in the direction God is pulling me on this journey. I am having a yard sale, the stuff will be very cheap. The reason I am having a yard sale is because I am in desperite need to raise money for my Haiti mission trip. Everything that is not sold is going to go to a homeless shelter, or something similar. Materialism is a huge issue we need to deal with. People are out in the world suffering, while we worry about something silly that we do not need. Most of the world worries about how they will feed their family that day, while the rest of us worry about how we will get that new car. This is just a huge burdon on my heart right now. I have been praying for peace about this. I know there is so much to be done. I just do not know where to start. It is scary to think about it. People like their stuff. People do not want to give their things away. But, we need to share. We need to give to those less fortunate. By doing this, we can be closer to Jesus and more time to devote to Him.
I do not want to sound angry at all. I am just emotional about this issue right now.
We need a revolution. It is urgent.
I am currently doing a bible study about how the church today is in a crisis. I believe this is VERY much true. I see so many people attending church, but outside of church, their behaviors do not reflect anything of God. It is as if church has become a social event. People attend to chit chat and look good for the community. People, people, PEOPLE!!!! What is going on?! What are we doing? This is not what Jesus commanded us to do. Things are getting so bad, it overwhelms me to think of all the changes that need to be made.
First, I want to express my concern for materialism in today's world. We have so much stuff. Stuff. stuff stuff stuff. There is no other word for it. It is cluttering our life. With so much clutter, how can there possibly be room for Jesus? We tend to stuff Him on the top shelf of our closets where the rest the 'stuff we use only on certain occassions' is. We live in a world where you are defined by what you have. At least that is what most people think. When you really and truly devote your life to Jesus, you realize none of that stuff matters. You realize our life here is only a faint whisper of what awaits us in heaven. You realize that you do not need to newest clothes, or shoes, or even seven jackets to survive. Would you survive with one jacket? Exactly. I think you get my point. So, instead of sitting here complaining about the world having materialistic problems. I decided to start with my life. I am uncluttering my life. It takes a lot more time than I realized it would. I went through one closet at first. I pulled out a few things. Then I went through it again, and got a few more things. But, it still just did not feel right. So, I prayed, and went back in there one more time. Let's just say there is a lot more free space in that closet now. I am going to do this to every bit of my space. I am collecting everything that is cluttering my life. Literally. This is a huge thing for me. It is tough. Everyone wants nice things. Everyone wants to have the cutest clothes or newest style. So, cleaning out my closet was tough. There were things that I wanted to hold on to, but I knew I did not need. It is refreshing now though. I feel like I can start to breath again. I feel like I am taking the first step in the direction God is pulling me on this journey. I am having a yard sale, the stuff will be very cheap. The reason I am having a yard sale is because I am in desperite need to raise money for my Haiti mission trip. Everything that is not sold is going to go to a homeless shelter, or something similar. Materialism is a huge issue we need to deal with. People are out in the world suffering, while we worry about something silly that we do not need. Most of the world worries about how they will feed their family that day, while the rest of us worry about how we will get that new car. This is just a huge burdon on my heart right now. I have been praying for peace about this. I know there is so much to be done. I just do not know where to start. It is scary to think about it. People like their stuff. People do not want to give their things away. But, we need to share. We need to give to those less fortunate. By doing this, we can be closer to Jesus and more time to devote to Him.
I do not want to sound angry at all. I am just emotional about this issue right now.
We need a revolution. It is urgent.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
life is never boring
So I have had an interesting week. This past weekend I went with the youth group on a trip to Americus, Georgia. We stayed at Koinania Farm. Koinania was started during the civil rights movement when the south was a really harsh place for blacks to live. He went to seminary school in Louisville, Kentucky, and he knew it was his calling to minister to people in the deep south. Him and another guy dreamed up the idea, and they went down south in search of some farmland. They found the perfect spot, and they did not have the money. So they asked God why he put this idea in their heads if they could not afford it. About this time a rich lawyer heard about what they were doing and gave them the exact amount that they needed to purchase the land. God definitely took care of them. They started this farm up, and they hired whites and blacks. They paid the whites and blacks the same wage, and also let the blacks eat lunch with them. This was unheard of in the south during that time. They got a lot of heat for this. The families were shot at, a roadside fruit stand was bombed, the KKK tormented them, and the cops would never defend them. This went on for over a year, but they ended up surviving. Around this time Millard Fuller and his family moved here. If you didn't know, he started Habitat for Humanity. It started by building homes around the farm for less fortunate people in the county. It grew from there and now it is global!
Today, Koinania is still a very peaceful christian community. The people live in houses on the farm, and they live as a very close community. They eat, pray and worship together. They divide up the work equally. The people that have real jobs even share their paycheck equally. They divide up things according to needs. If the world was more like this, it would be a much better place. These people grow everything that they eat. They have cows, pigs and chickens. They grow every type of fruit and vegetable that you can think of. Their operation is really amazing to me. I believe in the American society, we do not know how to live in a community. It seems we are in a rush these days. What the hurry is, I am not sure. We do not slow down at all, and we are always preparing for what is ahead. These people live for the day, and it is such a beautiful thing. I wish Americans could learn to slow down and enjoy the simple things. Start living as a community. Get to know your neighbor, and share things that are in need. Love one another like you wish to be loved. This is how I want to live my life. So I am going to start focusing on this. I know I cannot be as independent as they are, I like Walmart too much. But, I want to focus on becoming more loving and living more like a community. Giving to people in need. Loving and helping everyone. I know I cannot change the world or I cannot change people by telling them this is how they should live. But, if people see me living this way, maybe they will want to change also. This is really the only way to reach the world.
We also went to Jimmy Carter's church. He taught us sunday school. Man oh man, he is such a great person. I know people have hard feelings against him, but after hearing him speak.. I have no idea how anyone could hate him. He is such a sweet man, and I learned a lot by listening to him. He was so funny. He said that he would not mind spending 40 days in the desert, because he thought that manna was probably like grits. He said that grits were the best food in the world. He told us a lot about Egypt and the current situation that is going on. I really enjoyed hearing from him. I will add some pictures later on when I get home..
love to you and all--
Today, Koinania is still a very peaceful christian community. The people live in houses on the farm, and they live as a very close community. They eat, pray and worship together. They divide up the work equally. The people that have real jobs even share their paycheck equally. They divide up things according to needs. If the world was more like this, it would be a much better place. These people grow everything that they eat. They have cows, pigs and chickens. They grow every type of fruit and vegetable that you can think of. Their operation is really amazing to me. I believe in the American society, we do not know how to live in a community. It seems we are in a rush these days. What the hurry is, I am not sure. We do not slow down at all, and we are always preparing for what is ahead. These people live for the day, and it is such a beautiful thing. I wish Americans could learn to slow down and enjoy the simple things. Start living as a community. Get to know your neighbor, and share things that are in need. Love one another like you wish to be loved. This is how I want to live my life. So I am going to start focusing on this. I know I cannot be as independent as they are, I like Walmart too much. But, I want to focus on becoming more loving and living more like a community. Giving to people in need. Loving and helping everyone. I know I cannot change the world or I cannot change people by telling them this is how they should live. But, if people see me living this way, maybe they will want to change also. This is really the only way to reach the world.
We also went to Jimmy Carter's church. He taught us sunday school. Man oh man, he is such a great person. I know people have hard feelings against him, but after hearing him speak.. I have no idea how anyone could hate him. He is such a sweet man, and I learned a lot by listening to him. He was so funny. He said that he would not mind spending 40 days in the desert, because he thought that manna was probably like grits. He said that grits were the best food in the world. He told us a lot about Egypt and the current situation that is going on. I really enjoyed hearing from him. I will add some pictures later on when I get home..
love to you and all--
Friday, February 11, 2011
What if she's an angel?
You should click on the link above and listen to this song. It makes you sit and think. How many times have I just pretended not to see people in need so I would not have to help them? I have done that a lot. Too many times actually. Now I make a point to help the people who are helpless and in need. I believe it is something everyone should do. If we shared our wealth just a little bit, everyone could have something. But, I know that will never happen. People are stingy. I am not excluding myself from this statement. If you haven't realized by now, I never say things on here to point fingers at people. I say stuff on here that is true about myself that I have realized I need to fix. It is so easy to get caught up in a superficial world. America does not live in the reality of the world. Everyone here is so rich. So completely rich that it is ridiculous. I never realized this until this year. But, in this country we are brainwashed to think you have to have millions to be happy. People think they have to buy the next big thing to stay happy. Sure, it works for a while. But it eventually stops working. Then where do you turn?
Lately I have been making a point to pray little 'mini' prayers to God throughout the day. My whole life I have prayed at the end of the day. When I am half asleep in bed. How do you think God felt about that? He was probably not too happy with that. So I have been making a point to pray throughout the day. Every time a thought comes to my head that I need to pray about, I pray at that moment. I used to make a list in my mind of what I needed to pray about at night. Then I would go through the list during my nightly prayer. Yuck, that makes me sad to think about. Now, I feel like my prayers are so much more powerful. They are not long, but they are passionate and heart felt. I pray in the moment and I tell God exactly how I feel about situations. For example, when I see the news coverage in Egypt, I say a quiet prayer to God to be with these brave people and be on their side. Or when my anxiety flares up, I pray that God will calm me. Lately I have been praying a few of the same prayers very often. One of them is for God to help me love everyone. No matter what my past is with them, I want to show them love. That is what God tells us to do. Turn the other cheek. I have always had the problem of closing myself off and not showing emotions very well. So I pray that God opens me up and lets me show people how much I love them. In school people may have thought that I was stuck up or mean, but I promise on the inside I was not. I just did not know how to show emotion. I got really nervous around people and had a hard time carrying a conversation. I still get nervous, but it is not as bad. Social anxiety is something I could live without!! :) But, it is something that God gave me to live with. So I pray consistently that He calms me. The next big thing I have been praying is for God to help me simplify my life. I have always tried to keep up with the current trend, and it is tiring! I really do not care much about the current fashion trend. I honestly would be o.k with wearing my bathing suit all day, or sweat pants and soft t-shirt. But, since I cared so much about what people thought of me, I grew accustomed to shopping all of the time. I cannot tell you how much money that I have spent on clothes. on CLOTHES!! 200$ for a pair of pants!! really? It amazes me now. I pray that God helps me to be content with what I have. Because what I have is more than enough, I actually have too much. I have been going through my closet cleaning out stuff. I plan on having a yard sale. I would just donate it to a homeless shelter, but I am in need of some money for my trip to Haiti. So, anything that does not sell will be sent to the homeless shelter. Life is so much better when you are not worried with keeping up with the Jones'. I cannot tell you enough how much more beautiful life is. I enjoy the little things so much. Last year I went through a time where I my heart started skipping beats and fluttering. It was very scary for me. and I found out that it was from me worrying all of the time. At that time I was filling my life with so much clutter. Sorority, boys, clothes, parties.. it was killing me!! I was so worried about everything. It is so great not to worry about anything. I put everything in God's hands and I am confident things will turn out perfect for me. But, I not only pray that he will help my selfish shopping problem, I pray that he simplifies my life in other ways. I want to stop watching so much t.v. Or at least stop watching pointless t.v. I can watch meaningful t.v such as pawn stars, American pickers and swamp loggers right? :) I am not worried too much about those shows. I watch those shows when I am sitting downstairs with my parents. I watch those while spending time with my family. The t.v that I am referring to is the evil reality shows. The shows that are so filled with evil. It never fails, when I turn on the t.v when I am by myself I tend to watch a reality show. People watch these shows religiously. I watch the bachelor religiously, and it is not right of me. That hour could be an hour that I spend with God. I am putting Brad the bachelor above the Great Almighty God. I mean, I guess that is a little harsh. I do spend a lot of time with God, but I was just putting it in perspective. One show a week is not bad, but when people watch these shows for hours and hours. It is sad. People are turning the television into a god. I think I am going to give up television shows for lint. It will be tough, but it will make me grow stronger in God. Every day people become a little more brainwashed by this world. The world gets worse and worse every day. So my prayer is that I can do this. I also pray that other people would join me in this.
I mean, why do the Kardashians have a show? The whole time they sit there and talk meaningless talk. Sure, sometimes they are funny. But, there is no real point to the show. Take Deadliest Catch for example, the point of this show is to catch crabs. Big gigantic crabs while fighting for their lives in the arctic ocean. Now that is worth watching. But, the Kardashians? I still cannot figure out the point. People are addicted to their fairy tale life. It is NOT real life. Normal people do not live like that. Give me a show that follows a homeless person, or a person living in a third world country. Give me a show that will change the way people view the world. Give me a show that shows the reality of the world. Give me a show that is not focused on a filthy rich family and their daughters. All I want is for television to become real. Reality shows are not real life, they are the minority. Give me REAL television.
It scares me to see the world going the way it is today. Let's change this people! Let's not be so selfish. Let's learn to help people. There is so much hurt in this world, so many people who need our love. God said that it was harder than fitting a camel through the point of a needle for a rich man to make it into the Kingdom of Heaven. That is scary, right? It should not be scary. It is what we should be doing. We should stop storing up our money and start trusting that God will take care of us. We should help these people in need. Well, that is my two cents. I guess I get a little angry when I start talking about it. And I know I should not get angry, it is just hard not to. I have changed, and it has benefited me so much. I pray that more people have this same realization. The world really does not revolve around you. People do not care about what you wear, and honestly people do not think much about you. That sounds tough but it is the truth. Of course your family and friends think about you, but they love you for you. I read in my human growth and development book that people believe that everyone is constantly thinking about them. People worry so much because they think people are always watching them. But, it is just your mind. People are not constantly looking at you. I promise, it said it in the book.:) I struggled with that issue, so I know it is tough. Well, enough writing, lets start helping out the helpless!
Moments
You should click on the link above and listen to this song. It makes you sit and think. How many times have I just pretended not to see people in need so I would not have to help them? I have done that a lot. Too many times actually. Now I make a point to help the people who are helpless and in need. I believe it is something everyone should do. If we shared our wealth just a little bit, everyone could have something. But, I know that will never happen. People are stingy. I am not excluding myself from this statement. If you haven't realized by now, I never say things on here to point fingers at people. I say stuff on here that is true about myself that I have realized I need to fix. It is so easy to get caught up in a superficial world. America does not live in the reality of the world. Everyone here is so rich. So completely rich that it is ridiculous. I never realized this until this year. But, in this country we are brainwashed to think you have to have millions to be happy. People think they have to buy the next big thing to stay happy. Sure, it works for a while. But it eventually stops working. Then where do you turn?
Lately I have been making a point to pray little 'mini' prayers to God throughout the day. My whole life I have prayed at the end of the day. When I am half asleep in bed. How do you think God felt about that? He was probably not too happy with that. So I have been making a point to pray throughout the day. Every time a thought comes to my head that I need to pray about, I pray at that moment. I used to make a list in my mind of what I needed to pray about at night. Then I would go through the list during my nightly prayer. Yuck, that makes me sad to think about. Now, I feel like my prayers are so much more powerful. They are not long, but they are passionate and heart felt. I pray in the moment and I tell God exactly how I feel about situations. For example, when I see the news coverage in Egypt, I say a quiet prayer to God to be with these brave people and be on their side. Or when my anxiety flares up, I pray that God will calm me. Lately I have been praying a few of the same prayers very often. One of them is for God to help me love everyone. No matter what my past is with them, I want to show them love. That is what God tells us to do. Turn the other cheek. I have always had the problem of closing myself off and not showing emotions very well. So I pray that God opens me up and lets me show people how much I love them. In school people may have thought that I was stuck up or mean, but I promise on the inside I was not. I just did not know how to show emotion. I got really nervous around people and had a hard time carrying a conversation. I still get nervous, but it is not as bad. Social anxiety is something I could live without!! :) But, it is something that God gave me to live with. So I pray consistently that He calms me. The next big thing I have been praying is for God to help me simplify my life. I have always tried to keep up with the current trend, and it is tiring! I really do not care much about the current fashion trend. I honestly would be o.k with wearing my bathing suit all day, or sweat pants and soft t-shirt. But, since I cared so much about what people thought of me, I grew accustomed to shopping all of the time. I cannot tell you how much money that I have spent on clothes. on CLOTHES!! 200$ for a pair of pants!! really? It amazes me now. I pray that God helps me to be content with what I have. Because what I have is more than enough, I actually have too much. I have been going through my closet cleaning out stuff. I plan on having a yard sale. I would just donate it to a homeless shelter, but I am in need of some money for my trip to Haiti. So, anything that does not sell will be sent to the homeless shelter. Life is so much better when you are not worried with keeping up with the Jones'. I cannot tell you enough how much more beautiful life is. I enjoy the little things so much. Last year I went through a time where I my heart started skipping beats and fluttering. It was very scary for me. and I found out that it was from me worrying all of the time. At that time I was filling my life with so much clutter. Sorority, boys, clothes, parties.. it was killing me!! I was so worried about everything. It is so great not to worry about anything. I put everything in God's hands and I am confident things will turn out perfect for me. But, I not only pray that he will help my selfish shopping problem, I pray that he simplifies my life in other ways. I want to stop watching so much t.v. Or at least stop watching pointless t.v. I can watch meaningful t.v such as pawn stars, American pickers and swamp loggers right? :) I am not worried too much about those shows. I watch those shows when I am sitting downstairs with my parents. I watch those while spending time with my family. The t.v that I am referring to is the evil reality shows. The shows that are so filled with evil. It never fails, when I turn on the t.v when I am by myself I tend to watch a reality show. People watch these shows religiously. I watch the bachelor religiously, and it is not right of me. That hour could be an hour that I spend with God. I am putting Brad the bachelor above the Great Almighty God. I mean, I guess that is a little harsh. I do spend a lot of time with God, but I was just putting it in perspective. One show a week is not bad, but when people watch these shows for hours and hours. It is sad. People are turning the television into a god. I think I am going to give up television shows for lint. It will be tough, but it will make me grow stronger in God. Every day people become a little more brainwashed by this world. The world gets worse and worse every day. So my prayer is that I can do this. I also pray that other people would join me in this.
I mean, why do the Kardashians have a show? The whole time they sit there and talk meaningless talk. Sure, sometimes they are funny. But, there is no real point to the show. Take Deadliest Catch for example, the point of this show is to catch crabs. Big gigantic crabs while fighting for their lives in the arctic ocean. Now that is worth watching. But, the Kardashians? I still cannot figure out the point. People are addicted to their fairy tale life. It is NOT real life. Normal people do not live like that. Give me a show that follows a homeless person, or a person living in a third world country. Give me a show that will change the way people view the world. Give me a show that shows the reality of the world. Give me a show that is not focused on a filthy rich family and their daughters. All I want is for television to become real. Reality shows are not real life, they are the minority. Give me REAL television.
It scares me to see the world going the way it is today. Let's change this people! Let's not be so selfish. Let's learn to help people. There is so much hurt in this world, so many people who need our love. God said that it was harder than fitting a camel through the point of a needle for a rich man to make it into the Kingdom of Heaven. That is scary, right? It should not be scary. It is what we should be doing. We should stop storing up our money and start trusting that God will take care of us. We should help these people in need. Well, that is my two cents. I guess I get a little angry when I start talking about it. And I know I should not get angry, it is just hard not to. I have changed, and it has benefited me so much. I pray that more people have this same realization. The world really does not revolve around you. People do not care about what you wear, and honestly people do not think much about you. That sounds tough but it is the truth. Of course your family and friends think about you, but they love you for you. I read in my human growth and development book that people believe that everyone is constantly thinking about them. People worry so much because they think people are always watching them. But, it is just your mind. People are not constantly looking at you. I promise, it said it in the book.:) I struggled with that issue, so I know it is tough. Well, enough writing, lets start helping out the helpless!
Moments
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Forever could never be long enough with you.
So I am in love with Train's song 'Marry Me'. I know it has been out for a while, but I have never really paid attention to it. I guess since everyone I know is getting married & valentine's day coming up, I have realized how it would be nice to have someone. I have dated some really great guys (& some really terrible ones too), but it just has never felt right with them for some reason. I have dated so many guys and none of them have worked out, so I guess I have been a little down in the dumps thinking about it. I see people getting married so young, but thank goodness I have not married anyone yet. Not that they weren't good guys. They are good guys. I have just changed so much in the past few years. But, people are supposed to change. It is normal. I think that happens a lot in relationships and that is why they sometimes do not work out. I have learned a lot about relationships in the past few years. I have realized what I do not want in a husband. And now I am just trying to figure out everything that I do want in one. I am also finding out exactly who I am, so when I do find that special man, I can just be happy being myself. Yes, sometimes it is not fun being single (such as on valentine's day). For years I have dwelt on the fact that I was single and I have tried so hard to find someone. It is not worth worrying about. In the past 6 months I have realized that a relationship is supposed to be more than just dating someone because they are cute. You have to have a real connection & you have to better each other. So, I have stopped worrying about finding a guy. I am living my own life and squeezing every bit of life out it that I can. I know that God will send him my way one day. I know God has a beautiful life ahead of me, and he has a perfect partner for me.
It is not like I have a ton of guys asking me to go on dates or anything. Living in a small town limits your options. But, I am actually glad that I live in a place like that right now. I am learning so much about myself. But, I am going to be very selective of who I date from now on. I will get to know guys, but if I do not know 100% that I want to be with this person forever, I am not going to 'date' him. I am going to start getting to know guys extremely well before we even talk about dating. My problem in the past has been jumping into relationships without really knowing the person. So, I am going to solve that problem. This way, I will find someone that fits me. Someone that I can spend the rest of my life with.
I am not in a rush to find anyone, I am letting God work at His pace. God has huge plans for me, so I am going to try and do everything He tells me to do. If I follow God's plans, everything will become perfect with time. It is so easy to just date someone because you do not want to be alone, or you like having someone to take you out. But if you do not truly like the person, all it does is add clutter to your life. And, that is just the honest truth. It is tough to hear your grandma tell people 'sarah is never going to get married or have kids'. I could not believe that I heard this from her. I was like 'hello, I am right here.. I can hear you'. I guess it is a small town thing. It is like a rule that you have to settle down young. I do not really understand it. You do not know who you really are at such a young age. You change so much. But, it's all good. I am not cutting down small town values or anything. I just do not like living my life the 'way you are suppose to' according to other people.
Hearing Train's song 'Marry Me' makes me so excited to find the person that God has for me. The lyrics are:
Feel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now, we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do
Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way
Marry me today and every day
Marry me if I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will, say you will
Together can never be close enough for me
Feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you
And you're beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love and has finally shown her my way
Marry me today and every day
Marry me if I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will, say you will
Promise me you'll always be happy by my side
I promise to sing to you when all the music dies"
How beautiful are those lyrics? "Forever could never be long enough with you". When I find someone, I want to feel that way. I want to never part them. I want to be with them forever. Forever is a long time if you really think about it. But, I want to want to be with this person. I have dated guys before where I would make other plans so I did not have to see them certain weekends. That is terrible to admit, but it is true. When I find the perfect guy I will know because I will want to be with him. I won't get tired of him. He will keep me surprised and life will never get boring. I have asked God to give me peace in this subject in my life. I have asked Him to calm me and let me not worry. I feel so at peace right now, & I know that God has something great planned.
I guess the reason I am writing about love is because Valentine's day is coming up. I cannot wait for valentine's day. It is a day for love. I love Love! So it will be a day to show everyone that I love them. It is a beautiful day.
Here are some pictures from a night photo adventure from this past weekend!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
the best of Sarah Stuckey Photography...
So here are some of my favorites from past photoshoots... I will start blogging about photoshoots from here on out. But, I just wanted to add some of my older stuff..
These next few are of my good friend Emily. She is always willing to let me take her picture for practice.
These next photos are my nieces.. they are getting pretty tired of me always taking their picture.. but they are just too beautiful!
The next pictures are just various pictures from photo shoots this past year..
Above is my beautiful friend danielle! We had fun taking pictures this day!
Well.. those were just a few of my favorites... So look for new ones to come!
love--
These next few are of my good friend Emily. She is always willing to let me take her picture for practice.
love--
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
some eye catching news..
Do you want to see some passionate people?
http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2011/01/protest_spreads_in_the_middle.html
Just look at their faces. They ARE passionate about what they want. I love seeing people so passionate about something. I guess I am just used to living in a place where stuff like this does not happen. It amazes me.
Other great news... blue like jazz... the movie! Yes, you heard me. Blue like jazz is being made into a movie. hot dog!
http://www.bluelikejazzthemovie.com/
http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2011/01/protest_spreads_in_the_middle.html
Just look at their faces. They ARE passionate about what they want. I love seeing people so passionate about something. I guess I am just used to living in a place where stuff like this does not happen. It amazes me.
Other great news... blue like jazz... the movie! Yes, you heard me. Blue like jazz is being made into a movie. hot dog!
http://www.bluelikejazzthemovie.com/
just your modern day Harriet the Spy
Hello good folks'
This past weekend we were talking about what a crazy kid I used to be. My mom was saying how bad I used to be. Now, I do not think I was a bad kid. I think I was a pretty good kid. But, what do I know? We learned in anatomy how your mind really cannot retain memories from that young. You may remember bits and pieces of stuff, but most of your memories are skewed. You can remember things that had great impact on you though. It got me thinking about things that I remember. I remember loving Harriet the Spy. I wanted to be just like her. It was my dream to be a spy for the United States. Any time I had a friend over, I taught them how to properly sneak around the house without getting caught. This is what I did for fun. I drew house plans and figured out how to secretly get through the house. But, besides this, I remember trying to help out the community. I do not really know what was going through my mind. I would pack a suitcase with a blanket, clothes and food. I would leave my house in search for homeless people. Now, I lived in a nicer, kind of wealthy neighborhood in town. Of course there were no homeless people. But, in my mind there was someone out there needing my help. This is how I remember my childhood, that is why I think I was a pretty sweet child. I had such a big heart, but I did not realize it at the time. I do not know why I was pretending to be Harriet the Spy. I do not think she went around looking for homeless people to help. But, whatever it works.
The point of telling you about this is, God gave me a passion at such a young age. I wanted desperately to help people. As I grew up, the clutter of life and self love clouded my mind. I forgot about other people, because I was too worried about myself. I was always different at a young age. In my middle school years I was still so different, and I think that is when I started caring about what people thought. Middle school is a big time for change, and of course every girl wants to fit in. That is when I started caring about what clothes I wore and what I looked like. I sometimes think who I would be today if I never got caught up in the self love thing.Maybe I could have opened a homeless shelter or a food bank or something of that sort. Who knows! But, the passion of helping the helpless has flared up in me again. I just feel this deep need to help people. At church we have been talking about doing a 30 hour famine to raise money and awareness for homeless people. After hearing this, the idea kept growing for me. I discussed this with one of my best friends yesterday, and we just kept throwing out ideas. The main thing we figured out is we want to help the homeless, but we want to show them that they are loved. They are people. They are someones child, father, sister, grandson. I think people do not usually see them as that. People usually look at them and look away as quickly as possible before they have to give them a dollar. Sound familiar? It does for me. Well, we are thinking that one Friday night, we want to become homeless in Athens. We want to go into the streets with nothing. No money, no phone. We will take our cardboard sign and dress as if we are homeless. Our signs will say 'homeless for the homeless', or 'I am someones daughter', something that will get the attention of people. I know when I see something like that, I ask what is going on. People are curious. So, we will tell people what we are doing and hopefully people will listen and understand. We will be collecting money, and all of it will go towards helping the homeless. We were thinking, instead of donating the money to a shelter, we would take it and put together lunches. We would take them one day and take them to the people and visit with them. We won't ask the people to come get food, we will go to them. Show them that there is hope for them, and they are loved. I know this plan may sound crazy to some people. But for a girl that dreamed of being a united states spy as a little girl, nothing is too crazy for me. I am all about doing crazy things in the name of Love. If you ask my friends, there are not many things that I will not do. If I am passionate about something, it will happen.
If I am going to do something like this, I need to learn to not be so selfish myself. I am doing good so far, I have not bought anything the past month besides food and gas, (o.k, I bought a canvas and some paint). But the point is, I have not bought any clothes or materialistic items. Which is a big change for me. But, I like it. It is so much easier when you are not trying to keep up with the ways of the world. Believe me, you can never really keep up. I know you know what I am talking about. You go shopping one weekend and spend all of your money. You are so happy that you are going to be super fashionable the next week. Then you see on t.v a new look that is out. Shoot, now you realize you are a step behind and you need to buy that next new thing to really be in style. It is a never ending cycle and it will wear you out. If people did not care so much about what they looked like or the things they had, we would spend more time helping other people. If you truly think about it, there are not many people in this world that are selfless. There is a lot of selfish. (Again), I am not pointing fingers, I know I have this problem too. But, we Christians know that we are supposed to love the people in the world and give everything to them that we can. Sure, we may give 10%, but we never give til it hurts. So why spend all that money on more clothes that we probably won't wear? Why try to keep up with the world? Because that is what we are programmed to do. So, I am un-programming myself. I know you probably hear this all of the time but 'you have to do what makes you happy'. There is so much truth in that sentence. Seriously, think about it. How tiring is it to try to keep up with people? So stop doing things just to please other people. It does not matter what other people think. If you are happy that is all that matters. I find happiness in helping people, and I find it tiring to try and keep up with the rest of the world. So I am resting now. I am only doing what I want and what God tells me to do. It is so relieving. Really. Try it.
I am not trying to make anyone upset by writing this stuff. These are all of my thoughts. I do not dislike people who love to shop or anything. I am just throwing out ideas that I have.
love--
This past weekend we were talking about what a crazy kid I used to be. My mom was saying how bad I used to be. Now, I do not think I was a bad kid. I think I was a pretty good kid. But, what do I know? We learned in anatomy how your mind really cannot retain memories from that young. You may remember bits and pieces of stuff, but most of your memories are skewed. You can remember things that had great impact on you though. It got me thinking about things that I remember. I remember loving Harriet the Spy. I wanted to be just like her. It was my dream to be a spy for the United States. Any time I had a friend over, I taught them how to properly sneak around the house without getting caught. This is what I did for fun. I drew house plans and figured out how to secretly get through the house. But, besides this, I remember trying to help out the community. I do not really know what was going through my mind. I would pack a suitcase with a blanket, clothes and food. I would leave my house in search for homeless people. Now, I lived in a nicer, kind of wealthy neighborhood in town. Of course there were no homeless people. But, in my mind there was someone out there needing my help. This is how I remember my childhood, that is why I think I was a pretty sweet child. I had such a big heart, but I did not realize it at the time. I do not know why I was pretending to be Harriet the Spy. I do not think she went around looking for homeless people to help. But, whatever it works.
The point of telling you about this is, God gave me a passion at such a young age. I wanted desperately to help people. As I grew up, the clutter of life and self love clouded my mind. I forgot about other people, because I was too worried about myself. I was always different at a young age. In my middle school years I was still so different, and I think that is when I started caring about what people thought. Middle school is a big time for change, and of course every girl wants to fit in. That is when I started caring about what clothes I wore and what I looked like. I sometimes think who I would be today if I never got caught up in the self love thing.Maybe I could have opened a homeless shelter or a food bank or something of that sort. Who knows! But, the passion of helping the helpless has flared up in me again. I just feel this deep need to help people. At church we have been talking about doing a 30 hour famine to raise money and awareness for homeless people. After hearing this, the idea kept growing for me. I discussed this with one of my best friends yesterday, and we just kept throwing out ideas. The main thing we figured out is we want to help the homeless, but we want to show them that they are loved. They are people. They are someones child, father, sister, grandson. I think people do not usually see them as that. People usually look at them and look away as quickly as possible before they have to give them a dollar. Sound familiar? It does for me. Well, we are thinking that one Friday night, we want to become homeless in Athens. We want to go into the streets with nothing. No money, no phone. We will take our cardboard sign and dress as if we are homeless. Our signs will say 'homeless for the homeless', or 'I am someones daughter', something that will get the attention of people. I know when I see something like that, I ask what is going on. People are curious. So, we will tell people what we are doing and hopefully people will listen and understand. We will be collecting money, and all of it will go towards helping the homeless. We were thinking, instead of donating the money to a shelter, we would take it and put together lunches. We would take them one day and take them to the people and visit with them. We won't ask the people to come get food, we will go to them. Show them that there is hope for them, and they are loved. I know this plan may sound crazy to some people. But for a girl that dreamed of being a united states spy as a little girl, nothing is too crazy for me. I am all about doing crazy things in the name of Love. If you ask my friends, there are not many things that I will not do. If I am passionate about something, it will happen.
If I am going to do something like this, I need to learn to not be so selfish myself. I am doing good so far, I have not bought anything the past month besides food and gas, (o.k, I bought a canvas and some paint). But the point is, I have not bought any clothes or materialistic items. Which is a big change for me. But, I like it. It is so much easier when you are not trying to keep up with the ways of the world. Believe me, you can never really keep up. I know you know what I am talking about. You go shopping one weekend and spend all of your money. You are so happy that you are going to be super fashionable the next week. Then you see on t.v a new look that is out. Shoot, now you realize you are a step behind and you need to buy that next new thing to really be in style. It is a never ending cycle and it will wear you out. If people did not care so much about what they looked like or the things they had, we would spend more time helping other people. If you truly think about it, there are not many people in this world that are selfless. There is a lot of selfish. (Again), I am not pointing fingers, I know I have this problem too. But, we Christians know that we are supposed to love the people in the world and give everything to them that we can. Sure, we may give 10%, but we never give til it hurts. So why spend all that money on more clothes that we probably won't wear? Why try to keep up with the world? Because that is what we are programmed to do. So, I am un-programming myself. I know you probably hear this all of the time but 'you have to do what makes you happy'. There is so much truth in that sentence. Seriously, think about it. How tiring is it to try to keep up with people? So stop doing things just to please other people. It does not matter what other people think. If you are happy that is all that matters. I find happiness in helping people, and I find it tiring to try and keep up with the rest of the world. So I am resting now. I am only doing what I want and what God tells me to do. It is so relieving. Really. Try it.
I am not trying to make anyone upset by writing this stuff. These are all of my thoughts. I do not dislike people who love to shop or anything. I am just throwing out ideas that I have.
love--
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