What if she's an angel?

You should click on the link above and listen to this song. It makes you sit and think. How many times have I just pretended not to see people in need so I would not have to help them? I have done that a lot. Too many times actually. Now I make a point to help the people who are helpless and in need. I believe it is something everyone should do. If we shared our wealth just a little bit, everyone could have something. But, I know that will never happen. People are stingy. I am not excluding myself from this statement. If you haven't realized by now, I never say things on here to point fingers at people. I say stuff on here that is true about myself that I have realized I need to fix. It is so easy to get caught up in a superficial world. America does not live in the reality of the world. Everyone here is so rich. So completely rich that it is ridiculous. I never realized this until this year. But, in this country we are brainwashed to think you have to have millions to be happy. People think they have to buy the next big thing to stay happy. Sure, it works for a while. But it eventually stops working. Then where do you turn?
Lately I have been making a point to pray little 'mini' prayers to God throughout the day. My whole life I have prayed at the end of the day. When I am half asleep in bed. How do you think God felt about that? He was probably not too happy with that. So I have been making a point to pray throughout the day. Every time a thought comes to my head that I need to pray about, I pray at that moment. I used to make a list in my mind of what I needed to pray about at night. Then I would go through the list during my nightly prayer. Yuck, that makes me sad to think about. Now, I feel like my prayers are so much more powerful. They are not long, but they are passionate and heart felt. I pray in the moment and I tell God exactly how I feel about situations. For example, when I see the news coverage in Egypt, I say a quiet prayer to God to be with these brave people and be on their side. Or when my anxiety flares up, I pray that God will calm me. Lately I have been praying a few of the same prayers very often. One of them is for God to help me love everyone. No matter what my past is with them, I want to show them love. That is what God tells us to do. Turn the other cheek. I have always had the problem of closing myself off and not showing emotions very well. So I pray that God opens me up and lets me show people how much I love them. In school people may have thought that I was stuck up or mean, but I promise on the inside I was not. I just did not know how to show emotion. I got really nervous around people and had a hard time carrying a conversation. I still get nervous, but it is not as bad. Social anxiety is something I could live without!! :) But, it is something that God gave me to live with. So I pray consistently that He calms me. The next big thing I have been praying is for God to help me simplify my life. I have always tried to keep up with the current trend, and it is tiring! I really do not care much about the current fashion trend. I honestly would be o.k with wearing my bathing suit all day, or sweat pants and soft t-shirt. But, since I cared so much about what people thought of me, I grew accustomed to shopping all of the time. I cannot tell you how much money that I have spent on clothes. on CLOTHES!! 200$ for a pair of pants!! really? It amazes me now. I pray that God helps me to be content with what I have. Because what I have is more than enough, I actually have too much. I have been going through my closet cleaning out stuff. I plan on having a yard sale. I would just donate it to a homeless shelter, but I am in need of some money for my trip to Haiti. So, anything that does not sell will be sent to the homeless shelter. Life is so much better when you are not worried with keeping up with the Jones'. I cannot tell you enough how much more beautiful life is. I enjoy the little things so much. Last year I went through a time where I my heart  started skipping beats and fluttering. It was very scary for me. and I found out that it was from me worrying all of the time. At that time I was filling my life with so much clutter. Sorority, boys, clothes, parties.. it was killing me!! I was so worried about everything. It is so great not to worry about anything. I put everything in God's hands and I am confident things will turn out perfect for me. But, I not only pray that he will help my selfish shopping problem, I pray that he simplifies my life in other ways. I want to stop watching so much t.v. Or at least stop watching pointless t.v. I can watch meaningful t.v such as pawn stars, American pickers and swamp loggers right? :) I am not worried too much about those shows. I watch those shows when I am sitting downstairs with my parents. I watch those while spending time with my family. The t.v that I am referring to is the evil reality shows. The shows that are so filled with evil. It never fails, when I turn on the t.v when I am by myself I tend to watch a reality show. People watch these shows religiously. I watch the bachelor religiously, and it is not right of me. That hour could be an hour that I spend with God. I am putting Brad the bachelor above the Great Almighty God. I mean, I guess that is a little harsh. I do spend a lot of time with God, but I was just putting it in perspective. One show a week is not bad, but when people watch these shows for hours and hours. It is sad. People are turning the television into a god. I think I am going to give up television shows for lint. It will be tough, but it will make me grow stronger in God. Every day people become a little more brainwashed by this world. The world gets worse and worse every day. So my prayer is that I can do this. I also pray that other people would join me in this. 
I mean, why do the Kardashians have a show? The whole time they sit there and talk meaningless talk. Sure, sometimes they are funny. But, there is no real point to the show. Take Deadliest Catch for example, the point of this show is to catch crabs. Big gigantic crabs while fighting for their lives in the arctic ocean. Now that is worth watching. But, the Kardashians? I still cannot figure out the point. People are addicted to their fairy tale life. It is NOT real life. Normal people do not live like that. Give me a show that follows a homeless person, or a person living in a third world country. Give me a show that will change the way people view the world. Give me a show that shows the reality of the world. Give me a show that is not focused on a filthy rich family and their daughters. All I want is for television to become real. Reality shows are not real life, they are the minority. Give me REAL television. 
It scares me to see the world going the way it is today. Let's change this people! Let's not be so selfish. Let's learn to help people. There is so much hurt in this world, so many people who need our love. God said that it was harder than fitting a camel through the point of a needle for a rich man to make it into the Kingdom of Heaven. That is scary, right? It should not be scary. It is what we should be doing. We should stop storing up our money and start trusting that God will take care of us. We should help these people in need. Well, that is my two cents. I guess I get a little angry when I start talking about it. And I know I should not get angry, it is just hard not to. I have changed, and it has benefited me so much. I pray that more people have this same realization. The world really does not revolve around you. People do not care about what you wear, and honestly people do not think much about you. That sounds tough but it is the truth. Of course your family and friends think about you, but they love you for you. I read in my human growth and development book that people believe that everyone is constantly thinking about them. People worry so much because they think people are always watching them. But, it is just your mind. People are not constantly looking at you. I promise, it said it in the book.:) I struggled with that issue, so I know it is tough. Well, enough writing, lets start helping out the helpless!


Moments