I used to blog my photos all of the time, but lately I have been in this weird stage where I do not do anything. So, I figured I would start a fresh new blog. I also used to keep an updated web page, and with my tight self, I was tired of paying for it each month. I am hoping since I made this blog, I will be encouraged to take at least one picture each day. This will also give me a reason to write more. I keep a journal, but with the pain in my arm, it is hard to write a lot. I have found myself lately stuck in a monotonous routine, and it is killing me slowly. I finally decided, I need to do something about it. Taking photos may put a little life back into me. (since that is my passion and all). I have learned a lot in the past year. I have probably learned more about life and living in the past year than I have my entire life. But, the main thing I learn about is happiness. If you do not do what you love in life, you will never be happy. If you try pleasing everyone else, you will go insane. You have to do what makes you, and only you, happy.
Yes, the past few years I found myself trying to please everyone around me. I wanted to get everyone’s approval. I got fake fingernails and went to the tanning bed. But, the truth is I bite my nails and I am scared to death of the tanning bed. I would dress up, go out and try to be spontaneous with the rest of my peers. But the real me would rather be in my pajamas at home watching the history channel. I am not spontaneous either. I like planning things, and I get bad anxiety when things do not have a schedule. Some people may think that makes me crazy, but that is o.k. So I have been working on doing what makes me happy. It is going alright, I guess?
It is kind of hard to ‘live my life’ in this small town. Sometimes I feel like a parrot in a cage, or a fish in a tank, or.. eh something like that. I want to get out, but I am literally trapped. I am waiting to hear from nursing schools, but what if I don’t get in? Then what? I have not really thought about the next step that I will take. I guess things will start to pan out in the next month. If I do not get accepted, I am taking it that God has a different plan for me at the moment. Don’t get me wrong, there are things about this beautiful town that I love. Since I have lived off on my own, it is sometimes tough to live at home again. But, I do love my parents. I love that my mom can cook so good. It is nice not to have to cook everyday. My dad is very creative. He can build anything. It amazes me. My church is another thing that I love. I am helping with the youth group, but what they do not know is that they are helping me. I love being around everyone and listening to what they have to say. They seem to know a lot about life. I wish I knew as much as they did when I was their age. I love my friends that I have here. I can count them on one hand, but it’s not about quantity, right? My whole life I have tried to surround myself with ‘friends’. I have found that you will be much happier if you simplify your life and the people in it. You should not surround yourself with meaningless relationships. It just complicates your life, and makes things harder. I am done with conforming myself to fit the standards of others.
But, that is enough about all of that.
I do not really know anyone else who is on this site. So, who knows if anyone will ever even read my words. I think I had one follower on my last blog. but it’s cool. I like getting my thoughts out.
Nice to meet you anyways—
sarah elizabeth
No comments:
Post a Comment