My life has been so exciting lately. God is really working through me and I can feel it! It feels amazing. It is amazing when you can feel God leading you down a certain path. I finally feel some type of direction in my life, and I feel that I have a purpose. God has a wonderful plan for me. I feel almost 100% certain that I am called to the international missionary life. I have several reasons for believing this.
For one, I have always had a restless spirit and a love for travel. My whole life I have always been so energetic about traveling. I look forward to going to new places and experiencing new things. I look forward to spending hours in airports and standing in long lines. This gives me the opportunity to meet so many new people. I know that is weird that I look forward to those things. But, I do. Going new places just puts a spark in me. I love it! And, the best thing is, I will go ANYWHERE! The only things I am scared of in life are snakes, fire and approaching green lights. Seriously, nothing else scares me. Except the movie Chucky, that kind of scares me too. But, people do not scare me. This could be a good or bad thing. Maybe I am too naive. Maybe I care and love people so much that I think everyone thinks like I do. I know there are a lot of bad people in the world, but I feel if I show Love then no one can hurt me. My heart breaks to see people hurting. I literally will start crying when I see people hurt, it is kind of a problem. I cry every time a sad commercial comes on. Maybe I should work on that. I just can't help it, tears just come! But, I believe God gave me this passion for a reason. I could definitely see myself living abroad and helping people. I have always loved travel and have always wanted to live abroad. I just never thought about doing it as a missionary. After I completely gave my life to God, I realized all that I can do for people. With God, possibilities are endless.
Secondly, I am so passionate about changing the world. I know I am one person, but there are A LOT of people out there with my same passion. There are so many missionaries out in the world spreading God's love. If we all work together, we could change the world. This world is in desperate need of God's love. I read an article that said in 11 major countries, including Canada, Australia, New Zealand..etc., religion is going extinct. Meaning, soon no religion will be in these countries. It has died out. This hurts me so bad! There is so much work to be done. I think the world is heading downhill and fast. In America, we are so focused on ourselves. (Me included). I am always worrying about what clothes I need to wear, and what I will eat next. None of this matters. I believe we need to work together to bring love to the world. So many people are suffering and some of us have SO much to give. Lets share.
I have been praying about this so much. I will continue doing it to make sure I do exactly what God has planned for me. I used to have this perfect plan for my life. Or, atleast I thought it was perfect. Until I gave up my life to God. I am giving it to Him, and letting Him take me where He wants me to go. It is so freeing to not worry about my future.
I do get frustrated sometimes, because I am ready to go now. I am ready to be out in the world helping. NOW! I know, I know, I shouldn't be anxious. It is just my human nature to be anxious about things. I got into nursing school and I am starting in the fall, which will last 2 years. I will have some breaks during school, so maybe I can continue to do short term mission trips while I am in school. I am going to Haiti in less than a month, and I am so excited. I have no idea what to expect, but I already feel so much passion about helping these people. I have always been especially attracted to the Caribbean. I don't know why, I have just always been drawn to these people. I think their culture is so beautiful and unique. Maybe this is where I am called to be? I guess I will see. I also just made the decision to sponsor a little girl in Haiti. I did it through World Vision. I looked around for hours trying to find the perfect child. I check all of these countries in Africa and around the world. I couldn't decide where I wanted to sponsor. And, all of a sudden, it hit me like a ton of bricks. It is like God threw a brick at me and said 'are you blind?!'. No, I know He didn't really do that, but that is what it felt like. But, I realized.. I am going to Haiti. I am making bows for Haiti. I am feeling drawn towards HAITI. So, I searched the children in Haiti. Now, I am sponsoring a 3 year old girl named Dadeline. She lives with her mother and 5 sisters and 4 brothers. Her mom works in the market selling things. It hurts me so bad. It has got to be such a hard life. But, my 35$ a month will help provide for her and her family. I think I can afford 35$ a month. My mom questioned me about it. Because 35$ doesn't seem like much. But, being in college, and paying for basically everything that I do, 35$ is a good bit. So, my plan is to cut out how much I eat out. I am also going to cut out extra spending, such as clothes and such. This should be enough to save 35$. It said that I would receive a starter kit with her picture and a letter. I will also receive monthly updates to where my money is going and how she is doing. I will receive letters from her also. I can also send her letters and small packages. I am super excited about this! Since I am a busy college student, this is a way that I can still help out.
I am so excited for what God has planned for my future. I just have to keep my eye on it and not give it up. I do not want to get distracted and give up God's plan for anything. If I happen to meet a special someone, then I hope they have the same life plan as me. I can't give this up for anything. I have to do God's plan! I guess the guy that God has for me will have the same passion as me, and we will help each other in our journey. I just need to keep hope in that. I will not settle for less.
Until next time--
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