So one of my favorite writers is Donald Miller. Mainly because he shares the same view of the modern church, american church culture, religion.. basically all of that. I feel he hits the nail on the head with the way that I feel. Anyways.. here are some of my favorite quotes from him...
“There is something beautiful about a billion stars held steady by a God who knows what He is doing. (They hang there, the stars, like notes on a page of music, free-form verse, silent mysteries swirling in the blue like jazz.) And as I lay there, it occurred to me that God is up there somewhere. Of course, I had always known He was, but this time I felt it, I realized it, the way a person realizes they are hungry or thirsty. The knowledge of God seeped out of my brain and into my heart. I imagined Him looking down on this earth, half angry because His beloved mankind had cheated on Him, had committed adultery, and yet hopelessly in love with her, drunk with love for her.”
“I once listened to an Indian on television say that God was in the wind and the water, and I wondered at how beautiful that was because it meant you could swim in Him or have Him brush your face in a breeze.”
“I do not believe a person can take two issues from Scripture, those being abortion and gay marriage, and adhere to them as sins, then neglect much of the rest and call himself a fundamentalist or even a conservative. The person who believes the sum of his morality involves gay marriage and abortion alone, and neglects health care and world trade and the environment and loving his neighbor and feeding the poor is, by definition, a theological liberal, because he takes what he wants from Scripture and ignores the rest.”
“fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life.”
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
faith and works.
I have spent the past week and Passport church camp with our youth group. It has been so very special for me. I saw little glimpses of heaven all week. We spent the week at Mercer University in Macon, and we did mission work in a rough part of Macon. My mission group was assigned to Mrs. Goode's house. We had to scrape old paint, prime and paint the entire house. Her house was pretty big. Actually, it was huge! It was so tall. But, it was old and needed a lot of work. The week started out kind of slow. I am not sure if the kids knew what they were getting into or not. You usually don't get put to work at summer camps. But slowly, the mood completely changed. Kids started interacting and working together. By the end of the week, our group became so close. It was such a blessing to work on this woman's house and to see these kids really do the work of Jesus. It was such a feeling of accomplishment yesterday when we finished after four long days! Right when we finished a huge thunderstorm came, and we were soaked! I thought of it as a little gift from God. It felt amazing. This is an example of where I see God the most. I see God in the poorest parts of town. I see God in a group of kids who are covered in dirt and paint after a long days work. I see God in the smile of kids who come from a broken home. This is where I belong. I feel for sure after this week that I am right where God wants me to be.
I have been reading 'Searching for God Knows What' by Donald Miller. It is a very good read. I really like his view on religion and faith. I know I have written lately how I have been getting frustrated with politics and churches and government officials. But now, I feel at peace. I have prayed and God has filled me with complete peace at the moment. I know that I cannot change the way people think and do things. But, I can work on myself and do my part. I can love people and help and work through people. That is all I can do.
James 2:17-26 is really on my heart right now. Faith without works is dead. It is true. You can sit there and read the entire bible and learn a bunch of religious facts and have good morales.. etc. But, if you don't do anything with what you know, then what good is it? I guess it would be like studying and preparing for the SAT, but never signing up and taking it. What good will that do you?
I have been reading 'Searching for God Knows What' by Donald Miller. It is a very good read. I really like his view on religion and faith. I know I have written lately how I have been getting frustrated with politics and churches and government officials. But now, I feel at peace. I have prayed and God has filled me with complete peace at the moment. I know that I cannot change the way people think and do things. But, I can work on myself and do my part. I can love people and help and work through people. That is all I can do.
James 2:17-26 is really on my heart right now. Faith without works is dead. It is true. You can sit there and read the entire bible and learn a bunch of religious facts and have good morales.. etc. But, if you don't do anything with what you know, then what good is it? I guess it would be like studying and preparing for the SAT, but never signing up and taking it. What good will that do you?
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Ask for what you need.
I am sitting here at Mercer University at Passport camp with our youth group. It is only the first night, but I am very much enjoying my time here so far. I have really been stuck in a rut lately. I don't know how to describe it. I haven't been moving forward. Maybe I have moved a little backwards. I have just been so confused and almost lost. I feel like lately I have been trying so hard to figure out where to go next and what God has planned for my life. I have been trying so hard to seek out what is next for my life. I sit around and worry about where I will be next year, or how I will make something happen.
Tonight's message was on Matthew 7:7. Seek and ask and God will show you the way. But, have I been asking all of the wrong questions? Have I been asking God to show me where I will go in the future? I think I need to be focusing more on where He has me right now. I need to be focused on letting God mold me right now. It is like a painting. You can't start out with a masterpiece. You have to start out with strokes of paint, and let the pieces come together eventually. I need to stop worrying about where I will go in the future. I need to embrace where God has me now. I could be missing an important element that will help shape me into the person God has planned for me to be.
Anyways, that is just a little about what I am thinking at the moment.
What I have realized lately... God is so huge. Sometimes when I start thinking about who God is.. I can't even begin to understand Him. I know I will never fully understand Him, but I hope to learn more everyday. I want to seek and discover more and more every day. I have been stuck in a rut lately, and it has been very depressing for me. Everyday won't be wonderful. I need to learn to take the good days with the bad. Embrace everyday. Be open to what God has to show me each day.
Tonight's message was on Matthew 7:7. Seek and ask and God will show you the way. But, have I been asking all of the wrong questions? Have I been asking God to show me where I will go in the future? I think I need to be focusing more on where He has me right now. I need to be focused on letting God mold me right now. It is like a painting. You can't start out with a masterpiece. You have to start out with strokes of paint, and let the pieces come together eventually. I need to stop worrying about where I will go in the future. I need to embrace where God has me now. I could be missing an important element that will help shape me into the person God has planned for me to be.
Anyways, that is just a little about what I am thinking at the moment.
What I have realized lately... God is so huge. Sometimes when I start thinking about who God is.. I can't even begin to understand Him. I know I will never fully understand Him, but I hope to learn more everyday. I want to seek and discover more and more every day. I have been stuck in a rut lately, and it has been very depressing for me. Everyday won't be wonderful. I need to learn to take the good days with the bad. Embrace everyday. Be open to what God has to show me each day.
Monday, June 6, 2011
good works?
I know I just posted a few minutes ago, but I had a new thought that just came to my head. I was reading Donald Miller's blog (like I always do, I am a little obsessed), and he had a really good point. He was discussing 'working together with God to do His work'. He was right in saying that people downsize and limit what they think God's work is. People define God's work as doing something through the church. God's work is much bigger than that. God's work is everywhere. God's work is in the beauty of the world. It is in every brain busy at work trying to find a cure for a disease. It is in every artist and writer and scientist. God is working everywhere, and it should not be narrowly confined to the church. As you know, I am disappointed with most of the modern day church. I am a 'Book of Acts' type of person. I believe in doing works. I do not like confining God to a building. I also do not believe someone can do a bunch of good deeds, but not have a relationship with God. I know, that is confusing. But, having a great love for God will cause someone to want to do good deeds. I spent many years measuring how good of a person I was by all of the deeds that I did. I am still not perfect in my relationship with God, but it is evolving and growing stronger. I want to help better the world. I want to show love and help others have a better life. I cannot stand injustice. It infuriates me to see people being hateful to other people. Everyone is the same. Nobody is better than someone else. So how can we judge someone else and their life. People are handed circumstances, and they do the best they can with what they have. I know I mess up sometimes. Sometimes I mess up worse than other times. But, I want to be a better person. I want to keep learning from my mistakes and grow into a better person. Some of the most wise people that I know have the worst pasts. You have to go through dark, tough times to grow into a better person. You have to learn how to deal with bad times and celebrate the good times.
Back to doing God's works. I also do not believe that you can confine God's works as 'being good'. People who put themselves on a throne because they are good really tick me off. Just because someone goes to church twice a week, and does not cuss, and does not drink and is on the church softball team, does not make them better than anyone else. Good job for being a good person, but don't put other people down by bragging about it. I am discussing this because I heard someone talking the other day about everything that they do with the church. I am not putting down churches with softball teams and other such things. I like playing softball. But, telling someone that you are 'on the church softball team', should not make you feel good about yourself. I have caught myself doing this same thing. I felt really bad when I started thinking about it. Great, I am involved with the church, but what am I doing for the rest of the world? What am I doing for the hungry and homeless and sick and the lost? Isn't that what God said to do? So should going to church twice a week make you feel like a better person? Because it sure doesn't make me feel like one. I love going and seeing everyone and learning more about God. But lately, I realize where I need to be at. So, I do not believe we can judge someone by whether they are 'good' or 'bad'.
This was just on my heart and I wanted to write it out. It has really been on my mind lately.
Back to doing God's works. I also do not believe that you can confine God's works as 'being good'. People who put themselves on a throne because they are good really tick me off. Just because someone goes to church twice a week, and does not cuss, and does not drink and is on the church softball team, does not make them better than anyone else. Good job for being a good person, but don't put other people down by bragging about it. I am discussing this because I heard someone talking the other day about everything that they do with the church. I am not putting down churches with softball teams and other such things. I like playing softball. But, telling someone that you are 'on the church softball team', should not make you feel good about yourself. I have caught myself doing this same thing. I felt really bad when I started thinking about it. Great, I am involved with the church, but what am I doing for the rest of the world? What am I doing for the hungry and homeless and sick and the lost? Isn't that what God said to do? So should going to church twice a week make you feel like a better person? Because it sure doesn't make me feel like one. I love going and seeing everyone and learning more about God. But lately, I realize where I need to be at. So, I do not believe we can judge someone by whether they are 'good' or 'bad'.
This was just on my heart and I wanted to write it out. It has really been on my mind lately.
a little bit stronger.
I have been going through a good bit of change lately. I have made a lot of realizations. I have realized that we go through many seasons in life, and things are continuously changing. Things will never stay the same forever. I get used to the way life is, and then it changes.
I have a good feeling about this summer though. Since I have decided to have a new outlook on life, things have gotten a lot better. My new plan for life is to just be happy. As I said in my previous post, I am embracing what God has given me at this moment. God has placed me here for a reason. At one point I was complaining about how I was stuck at home when I should be living away somewhere. But, the reality is, I am so incredibly lucky to be living here. I have two wonderful jobs right now. I am lifeguarding and teaching swim lessons at the Aquatic Center, and I am lifeguarding at Camp Twin Lakes. Both of these places are so wonderful. I am very blessed. I am also so lucky to get to work with the youth group at the church. I have so much fun doing that, and it is really good for me. This summer is going to be wonderful. In a little over a week I will be on my way to Savannah to be in one of my best friend's weddings. I am so excited to be standing there next to her on her special day. They are so in love and I am extremely happy for them. After the wedding, my brother's family is coming up to my house for Lily's birthday. Then, we leave on Sunday for Passport. Passport is the summer camp for the youth group. I am super excited to experience this with them. Not long after we get back from Passport, we have the Sunflower festival. My summer is filled with so much good stuff. Most of my money from the summer is going towards my trip to Europe in December.
I know this sounds weird, but, I feel like I am finally living again. I think I went through this time in life where I was kind of depressed about a lot of things. I finally realized that you can't go through life upset about every little thing that goes wrong. Because when you look at it, we are incredibly lucky people. Maybe I changed my outlook on life after I got back from Haiti. I am not really sure. I really do miss Haiti though. Everyone there was so thankful for everything. I get tired of hearing people complain. It really, really bothers me. People that have everything in the world are complaining about needing more stuff. It is a bit ridiculous.
Anyways, I am super excited about my life. I have so many things that I want to do. My options are wide open for the future. I know that I could do amazing things. God has given me the opportunity to go to nursing school, so I can't wait to use my skills to help people.
I had a discussion the other night with a friend.. about relationships. I spent so many years trying to invest my time in guys and trying to make relationships work. But, I am finally so content with where I am and being by myself. I am 21 and I have the world in my hands. I can do whatever I want! I have so many things that I would love to do in life. Sure, I want to find the perfect guy to spend my life with. But, I want to find someone who wants the things that I want. I am not going to just settle for someone because I don't want to be alone. What a sad life that would be. I am going to live life and do the things that I want, and eventually someone will come along and fit into the picture perfectly. You have to do the things that you love to do. If you try to just date anyone, it will never turn out good. If you do the things that you love to do, you will meet someone who loves the same things. How perfect. If you look at the dating world that way, it makes perfect sense. I just see so many people giving up there dreams. And, at such a young age! Everyone that I have talked to tells me that right now is the time for me to do all of the things that I have wanted to do. Because once you get married and have kids, it is really hard to fit in extra trips. So, that is what I am trying to do.
Anyways, I know this blog was very random. But, it was just a few of my recent thoughts thrown together. I hope to start blogging a little more often. I am just so busy with work and school and life...
Until then--
I have a good feeling about this summer though. Since I have decided to have a new outlook on life, things have gotten a lot better. My new plan for life is to just be happy. As I said in my previous post, I am embracing what God has given me at this moment. God has placed me here for a reason. At one point I was complaining about how I was stuck at home when I should be living away somewhere. But, the reality is, I am so incredibly lucky to be living here. I have two wonderful jobs right now. I am lifeguarding and teaching swim lessons at the Aquatic Center, and I am lifeguarding at Camp Twin Lakes. Both of these places are so wonderful. I am very blessed. I am also so lucky to get to work with the youth group at the church. I have so much fun doing that, and it is really good for me. This summer is going to be wonderful. In a little over a week I will be on my way to Savannah to be in one of my best friend's weddings. I am so excited to be standing there next to her on her special day. They are so in love and I am extremely happy for them. After the wedding, my brother's family is coming up to my house for Lily's birthday. Then, we leave on Sunday for Passport. Passport is the summer camp for the youth group. I am super excited to experience this with them. Not long after we get back from Passport, we have the Sunflower festival. My summer is filled with so much good stuff. Most of my money from the summer is going towards my trip to Europe in December.
I know this sounds weird, but, I feel like I am finally living again. I think I went through this time in life where I was kind of depressed about a lot of things. I finally realized that you can't go through life upset about every little thing that goes wrong. Because when you look at it, we are incredibly lucky people. Maybe I changed my outlook on life after I got back from Haiti. I am not really sure. I really do miss Haiti though. Everyone there was so thankful for everything. I get tired of hearing people complain. It really, really bothers me. People that have everything in the world are complaining about needing more stuff. It is a bit ridiculous.
Anyways, I am super excited about my life. I have so many things that I want to do. My options are wide open for the future. I know that I could do amazing things. God has given me the opportunity to go to nursing school, so I can't wait to use my skills to help people.
I had a discussion the other night with a friend.. about relationships. I spent so many years trying to invest my time in guys and trying to make relationships work. But, I am finally so content with where I am and being by myself. I am 21 and I have the world in my hands. I can do whatever I want! I have so many things that I would love to do in life. Sure, I want to find the perfect guy to spend my life with. But, I want to find someone who wants the things that I want. I am not going to just settle for someone because I don't want to be alone. What a sad life that would be. I am going to live life and do the things that I want, and eventually someone will come along and fit into the picture perfectly. You have to do the things that you love to do. If you try to just date anyone, it will never turn out good. If you do the things that you love to do, you will meet someone who loves the same things. How perfect. If you look at the dating world that way, it makes perfect sense. I just see so many people giving up there dreams. And, at such a young age! Everyone that I have talked to tells me that right now is the time for me to do all of the things that I have wanted to do. Because once you get married and have kids, it is really hard to fit in extra trips. So, that is what I am trying to do.
Anyways, I know this blog was very random. But, it was just a few of my recent thoughts thrown together. I hope to start blogging a little more often. I am just so busy with work and school and life...
Until then--
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Total Fat Move.
So I love cupcakes. It is kind of an obsession. I dream about them. Anyways, I found out that there is a GiGi's cupcakes in Athens! I love this place, so it made my day so much better!! I can't wait to hit it up next time I am in Athens!!
http://www.gigiscupcakesusa.com/athensgeorgia
http://www.gigiscupcakesusa.com/athensgeorgia
Sunday, May 22, 2011
It is May 22, 2011
I meant to blog yesterday, but I was too busy celebrating the world not ending. As most of you know, crazy man Harold Camping predicted that the world was going to end yesterday. He was 100% sure of himself. I mean he had people giving away their life savings to follow him. I mean, how stupid can people be? You think people can't get any more stupid, and then something like this happens. And, what really makes me mad, stuff like this makes Christians look even worse. I know a lot of people have had bad experiences with Christians, and this just adds on to our insanity. I am not even going to comment on some of the crazy Christians these days. I think a lot of Christians have gone completely off course from what Jesus told us to do. I am not perfect. I struggle with this. I mean, I am only human, of course I mess up 98% of the time. But, it makes me so mad when another Christian judges someone by how they live life. Jesus said not to judge anyone else. So, why do people think they have the right to judge another person? They don't. Well, I just said I wasn't going to comment on that and I did. But, whatever. Back to this crazy old bat Harold Camping. I really want to see some responses from his followers. I want to know how they feel. I mean, a lot of them went crazy. They left their families, used all of their money for this campain. I mean.. I would be a little pissed. Wouldn't you?
Okay enough of that. I want to write about a little something that has been on my mind lately. Relationships. They are so overrated. I look at couples, and most of them just look so unhappy. Don't get me wrong, I know a few that are just completely perfect for each other. Such as, Danielle and Phil. They are just so wonderful together. God made them for each other. I hope I can have something half as good as they have when I grow up. :) But, 97% of couples that I see just make me want to throw up. I never want to be so unhappy. I mean, you date someone because you want to be with them right? I know a lot of people who are dating just because they want to get married. Why rush? I mean, I look at who I was 3 years ago, and who I am now. Wow! If I married who I was dating 3 years ago.. I would be miserable. Utterly miserable. Anyways, I have this whole renewed happiness about life. I am embracing where I am right now. I am single and 21. That doesn't mean that I go out and go crazy. I am just embracing my situation. I don't have anyone to answer to. I am free. I have 2 difficult years of nursing school ahead of me, and I am so excited about it! But, my options are wide open for the future! Why rush into a mediocre relationship that I will be unhappy with in a few months or years? It's just stupid to me. Anywho.. So I am now working on living life more spontaneously. This past wednesday I booked a trip to Europe for December. By myself. Well, kind of. I am meeting a random group of college students in London and we are traveling together. I am so super duper excited! I can't even contain myself. My old self would NEVER in a million years do this. But you know what? I am ready to enjoy my time on earth. This whole end of the world thing has got me thinking. I want to enjoy and embrace what I have. There are a lot of things I can't change. Sure, it pisses me off how inconsiderate and spoiled most of America is, and they most likely are not going to change. I can try my best, but most people won't change the way they are. So, I am going to stop worrying about them and enjoy my life! I have a whole new outlook on life. I love it! Until then--
Okay enough of that. I want to write about a little something that has been on my mind lately. Relationships. They are so overrated. I look at couples, and most of them just look so unhappy. Don't get me wrong, I know a few that are just completely perfect for each other. Such as, Danielle and Phil. They are just so wonderful together. God made them for each other. I hope I can have something half as good as they have when I grow up. :) But, 97% of couples that I see just make me want to throw up. I never want to be so unhappy. I mean, you date someone because you want to be with them right? I know a lot of people who are dating just because they want to get married. Why rush? I mean, I look at who I was 3 years ago, and who I am now. Wow! If I married who I was dating 3 years ago.. I would be miserable. Utterly miserable. Anyways, I have this whole renewed happiness about life. I am embracing where I am right now. I am single and 21. That doesn't mean that I go out and go crazy. I am just embracing my situation. I don't have anyone to answer to. I am free. I have 2 difficult years of nursing school ahead of me, and I am so excited about it! But, my options are wide open for the future! Why rush into a mediocre relationship that I will be unhappy with in a few months or years? It's just stupid to me. Anywho.. So I am now working on living life more spontaneously. This past wednesday I booked a trip to Europe for December. By myself. Well, kind of. I am meeting a random group of college students in London and we are traveling together. I am so super duper excited! I can't even contain myself. My old self would NEVER in a million years do this. But you know what? I am ready to enjoy my time on earth. This whole end of the world thing has got me thinking. I want to enjoy and embrace what I have. There are a lot of things I can't change. Sure, it pisses me off how inconsiderate and spoiled most of America is, and they most likely are not going to change. I can try my best, but most people won't change the way they are. So, I am going to stop worrying about them and enjoy my life! I have a whole new outlook on life. I love it! Until then--
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Photo Journey of Haiti
I typed up a very long blog about the details of my time in Haiti. However, I cannot bring myself to share it yet. This was a very special trip for me. It was my first time in a third world country, so it was hard on me. It was an emotional experience. A lot of people have asked me how it was, and I have had a hard time putting it into words. Words cannot describe what I experienced there. So, I am sorry that I cannot write in detail about my trip yet. Maybe one day I will publish it on here. But, right now I feel like my words that I have written have not even come close to my true experience. Here are some pictures from the trip. I just added a few of my favorite shots. Maybe I can add a few pictures each day and write about them. Maybe that will help describe my trip a little better.
This is Pastor Burnex's baby girl. He is the Pastor of the church in Moulin. Moulin was several miles away up in the mountains. We went there for clinic one day. It was about an hour-hour 1/2 drive there. This region of the country had a lot of voodoo, so it was a pretty dark place. This was taken on Easter Sunday at Pastor Crisbon's house. They had a huge Easter service at the church, and had a baby dedication. This sweet little girl was a part of the dedication! It was so neat to experience. We found out that the only way for the people of Haiti to receive a passport is to go through a dedication. This is because there is no birth certificate or anything. 
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
THE bottle tree.
So Keeli, Katie Marie & I decided we wanted to make a bottle tree. My parents have had one on our farm as long as I can remember. They are supposed to bring good luck to your family. There is an unusual amount of glass bottles in the woods of our farms. We have went bottle hunting a couple of times to find bottles. The first time we ran up on a snake! I jumped up on top of the gator, and Katie Marie started poking it with a stick. Thank goodness she is so brave. If it was up to me, I would probably still be shaking on top of the gator! We found some really awesome bottles. I guess the previous owners would just throw out everything that they didn't want. We found whiskey bottles, and other type of old alcohol bottles, Clorox bottles, Ammonia bottles, various soft drink bottles, and many other awesome ones! We were just going to put the bottles on the tree as they were, but we decided they would be neat to paint. So we got bright spray paint colors and painted several of them. We didn't paint the ones that were already colored. Here are some pictures of how it turned out! We put it right on the fence corner, so it is right on the edge of our properties. We also plan to plant flowers around it! It is so neat!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Bows for Haiti
As you know, my friend Deanna and I are working on the 'Bows for Haiti' project. It has been so exciting. I love making the bows. They are so fun to design. The only hard part is sewing the hair pin on the back, it is just tedious. The project is going great so far. I am not sure the exact number of bows that we have made at the moment, but we have a good many made! As of today, I have 24 days before I leave on my trip. My goal is to make 10 items a day until I leave. I really have no clue how many people I will come in contact with on this trip, so I want to have enough. Even if I make too many, that will be fine. I just don't want to run out! The bows project also has branched into something new. I am also making bracelets out of wooden beads and fabric. They are super cute. I wanted to make something for the older girls and women if they didn't want a hair bow. I think they will like them a lot. I think I will have to take a whole suit case dedicated to my bows and bracelets! :)
I looked at an album on facebook from when the group went last year. There were lots of little girls, and they all had big hair bows in their hair! I was so excited to see that! They were all so cute.
I have had a lot of fun taking pictures of the bows! Here are some new pictures!
I looked at an album on facebook from when the group went last year. There were lots of little girls, and they all had big hair bows in their hair! I was so excited to see that! They were all so cute.
I have had a lot of fun taking pictures of the bows! Here are some new pictures!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
I surrender to Your Love..
My life has been so exciting lately. God is really working through me and I can feel it! It feels amazing. It is amazing when you can feel God leading you down a certain path. I finally feel some type of direction in my life, and I feel that I have a purpose. God has a wonderful plan for me. I feel almost 100% certain that I am called to the international missionary life. I have several reasons for believing this.
For one, I have always had a restless spirit and a love for travel. My whole life I have always been so energetic about traveling. I look forward to going to new places and experiencing new things. I look forward to spending hours in airports and standing in long lines. This gives me the opportunity to meet so many new people. I know that is weird that I look forward to those things. But, I do. Going new places just puts a spark in me. I love it! And, the best thing is, I will go ANYWHERE! The only things I am scared of in life are snakes, fire and approaching green lights. Seriously, nothing else scares me. Except the movie Chucky, that kind of scares me too. But, people do not scare me. This could be a good or bad thing. Maybe I am too naive. Maybe I care and love people so much that I think everyone thinks like I do. I know there are a lot of bad people in the world, but I feel if I show Love then no one can hurt me. My heart breaks to see people hurting. I literally will start crying when I see people hurt, it is kind of a problem. I cry every time a sad commercial comes on. Maybe I should work on that. I just can't help it, tears just come! But, I believe God gave me this passion for a reason. I could definitely see myself living abroad and helping people. I have always loved travel and have always wanted to live abroad. I just never thought about doing it as a missionary. After I completely gave my life to God, I realized all that I can do for people. With God, possibilities are endless.
Secondly, I am so passionate about changing the world. I know I am one person, but there are A LOT of people out there with my same passion. There are so many missionaries out in the world spreading God's love. If we all work together, we could change the world. This world is in desperate need of God's love. I read an article that said in 11 major countries, including Canada, Australia, New Zealand..etc., religion is going extinct. Meaning, soon no religion will be in these countries. It has died out. This hurts me so bad! There is so much work to be done. I think the world is heading downhill and fast. In America, we are so focused on ourselves. (Me included). I am always worrying about what clothes I need to wear, and what I will eat next. None of this matters. I believe we need to work together to bring love to the world. So many people are suffering and some of us have SO much to give. Lets share.
I have been praying about this so much. I will continue doing it to make sure I do exactly what God has planned for me. I used to have this perfect plan for my life. Or, atleast I thought it was perfect. Until I gave up my life to God. I am giving it to Him, and letting Him take me where He wants me to go. It is so freeing to not worry about my future.
I do get frustrated sometimes, because I am ready to go now. I am ready to be out in the world helping. NOW! I know, I know, I shouldn't be anxious. It is just my human nature to be anxious about things. I got into nursing school and I am starting in the fall, which will last 2 years. I will have some breaks during school, so maybe I can continue to do short term mission trips while I am in school. I am going to Haiti in less than a month, and I am so excited. I have no idea what to expect, but I already feel so much passion about helping these people. I have always been especially attracted to the Caribbean. I don't know why, I have just always been drawn to these people. I think their culture is so beautiful and unique. Maybe this is where I am called to be? I guess I will see. I also just made the decision to sponsor a little girl in Haiti. I did it through World Vision. I looked around for hours trying to find the perfect child. I check all of these countries in Africa and around the world. I couldn't decide where I wanted to sponsor. And, all of a sudden, it hit me like a ton of bricks. It is like God threw a brick at me and said 'are you blind?!'. No, I know He didn't really do that, but that is what it felt like. But, I realized.. I am going to Haiti. I am making bows for Haiti. I am feeling drawn towards HAITI. So, I searched the children in Haiti. Now, I am sponsoring a 3 year old girl named Dadeline. She lives with her mother and 5 sisters and 4 brothers. Her mom works in the market selling things. It hurts me so bad. It has got to be such a hard life. But, my 35$ a month will help provide for her and her family. I think I can afford 35$ a month. My mom questioned me about it. Because 35$ doesn't seem like much. But, being in college, and paying for basically everything that I do, 35$ is a good bit. So, my plan is to cut out how much I eat out. I am also going to cut out extra spending, such as clothes and such. This should be enough to save 35$. It said that I would receive a starter kit with her picture and a letter. I will also receive monthly updates to where my money is going and how she is doing. I will receive letters from her also. I can also send her letters and small packages. I am super excited about this! Since I am a busy college student, this is a way that I can still help out.
I am so excited for what God has planned for my future. I just have to keep my eye on it and not give it up. I do not want to get distracted and give up God's plan for anything. If I happen to meet a special someone, then I hope they have the same life plan as me. I can't give this up for anything. I have to do God's plan! I guess the guy that God has for me will have the same passion as me, and we will help each other in our journey. I just need to keep hope in that. I will not settle for less.
Until next time--
For one, I have always had a restless spirit and a love for travel. My whole life I have always been so energetic about traveling. I look forward to going to new places and experiencing new things. I look forward to spending hours in airports and standing in long lines. This gives me the opportunity to meet so many new people. I know that is weird that I look forward to those things. But, I do. Going new places just puts a spark in me. I love it! And, the best thing is, I will go ANYWHERE! The only things I am scared of in life are snakes, fire and approaching green lights. Seriously, nothing else scares me. Except the movie Chucky, that kind of scares me too. But, people do not scare me. This could be a good or bad thing. Maybe I am too naive. Maybe I care and love people so much that I think everyone thinks like I do. I know there are a lot of bad people in the world, but I feel if I show Love then no one can hurt me. My heart breaks to see people hurting. I literally will start crying when I see people hurt, it is kind of a problem. I cry every time a sad commercial comes on. Maybe I should work on that. I just can't help it, tears just come! But, I believe God gave me this passion for a reason. I could definitely see myself living abroad and helping people. I have always loved travel and have always wanted to live abroad. I just never thought about doing it as a missionary. After I completely gave my life to God, I realized all that I can do for people. With God, possibilities are endless.
Secondly, I am so passionate about changing the world. I know I am one person, but there are A LOT of people out there with my same passion. There are so many missionaries out in the world spreading God's love. If we all work together, we could change the world. This world is in desperate need of God's love. I read an article that said in 11 major countries, including Canada, Australia, New Zealand..etc., religion is going extinct. Meaning, soon no religion will be in these countries. It has died out. This hurts me so bad! There is so much work to be done. I think the world is heading downhill and fast. In America, we are so focused on ourselves. (Me included). I am always worrying about what clothes I need to wear, and what I will eat next. None of this matters. I believe we need to work together to bring love to the world. So many people are suffering and some of us have SO much to give. Lets share.
I have been praying about this so much. I will continue doing it to make sure I do exactly what God has planned for me. I used to have this perfect plan for my life. Or, atleast I thought it was perfect. Until I gave up my life to God. I am giving it to Him, and letting Him take me where He wants me to go. It is so freeing to not worry about my future.
I do get frustrated sometimes, because I am ready to go now. I am ready to be out in the world helping. NOW! I know, I know, I shouldn't be anxious. It is just my human nature to be anxious about things. I got into nursing school and I am starting in the fall, which will last 2 years. I will have some breaks during school, so maybe I can continue to do short term mission trips while I am in school. I am going to Haiti in less than a month, and I am so excited. I have no idea what to expect, but I already feel so much passion about helping these people. I have always been especially attracted to the Caribbean. I don't know why, I have just always been drawn to these people. I think their culture is so beautiful and unique. Maybe this is where I am called to be? I guess I will see. I also just made the decision to sponsor a little girl in Haiti. I did it through World Vision. I looked around for hours trying to find the perfect child. I check all of these countries in Africa and around the world. I couldn't decide where I wanted to sponsor. And, all of a sudden, it hit me like a ton of bricks. It is like God threw a brick at me and said 'are you blind?!'. No, I know He didn't really do that, but that is what it felt like. But, I realized.. I am going to Haiti. I am making bows for Haiti. I am feeling drawn towards HAITI. So, I searched the children in Haiti. Now, I am sponsoring a 3 year old girl named Dadeline. She lives with her mother and 5 sisters and 4 brothers. Her mom works in the market selling things. It hurts me so bad. It has got to be such a hard life. But, my 35$ a month will help provide for her and her family. I think I can afford 35$ a month. My mom questioned me about it. Because 35$ doesn't seem like much. But, being in college, and paying for basically everything that I do, 35$ is a good bit. So, my plan is to cut out how much I eat out. I am also going to cut out extra spending, such as clothes and such. This should be enough to save 35$. It said that I would receive a starter kit with her picture and a letter. I will also receive monthly updates to where my money is going and how she is doing. I will receive letters from her also. I can also send her letters and small packages. I am super excited about this! Since I am a busy college student, this is a way that I can still help out.
I am so excited for what God has planned for my future. I just have to keep my eye on it and not give it up. I do not want to get distracted and give up God's plan for anything. If I happen to meet a special someone, then I hope they have the same life plan as me. I can't give this up for anything. I have to do God's plan! I guess the guy that God has for me will have the same passion as me, and we will help each other in our journey. I just need to keep hope in that. I will not settle for less.
Until next time--
Thursday, March 17, 2011
season of change.
I feel like I could jump off of a mountain right now! I feel like I could jump and just fly away. I am just filled with happiness and love and it just lifts me off the ground. Sorry if that is weird, it is just how I am feeling lately.
I have gone through so many more changes just in the past month, and my life is so different than I ever thought it would be. I had all of these plans for my life that consisted of a lot of money and other material items. I thought that is what I wanted out of life. But, things have turned out much different. It is turning out to be much better than I could ever imagine.
I am still working on simplifying my life. I am still sorting through my closet. But, at this moment I feel like I could go rip everything out of my closet, and keep a few things, and I would be just fine. I think I might go throw a few more things out of my closet today. It feels so great, and so freeing. I want so bad to unclutter my life, especially this next month before I go to Haiti. God has really led me to fasting. I have felt Him telling me to fast. I bought a book and started reading on it. It makes total sense to me. I had this preconceived thought about fasting before I ever read about it. I had always heard people say 'we are fasting today at church'. And, I never understood this. I thought 'why would you not eat all day?' 'what good does that do?'. But, I think I had just heard it from friends who didn't really understand the concept either. Now that my relationship with God is growing deeper, I believe it is something important that I should do. It would free up my time, and help me focus more on God. I wouldn't completely do without food. I am still reading about it, and I will read more on how to fast. I would just eat a litttttttttle bit. Just enough to survive. At church we have been studying different types of prayer. We are supposed to pick one and do it for the next few weeks. Since I just finished school for a while, I chose Solitude. Meaning, I am going to set aside a few hours to just be still and listen. I can read my bible, write or listen to music. But, I will just take that time to soak in God's Love. I think fasting and this type of prayer go hand in hand. So, I am going to start this full on by Monday. The reason I am waiting is because I am going with the youth to March Mission Madness this weekend and things will be all crazy.
I have really been focusing my life around Matthew 6. Jesus shows us the type of life we should live. I think being a Christian, it is important to actually live the lifestyle that Jesus told us to live. I know we live in a different time period, but that doesn't matter. We can still live like Him, or at least try our best. :) So, that is what I am focusing my life on right now. It is hard. It is definitely a process. You can't completely change your life in one day. It takes a lot of prayer. I still have a long, long way to go. You know, at first, I started getting kind of angry. I would look around at my christian friends and wonder why I had to give up everything when they didn't. But, after a LOT of praying, I have come to accept it. Everyone is at different stages of their relationship with God. I was completely different two years ago, but look how far I have come. It is something that everyone will learn. Everyone will eventually learn that money does not buy you happiness. It just takes me. It took time for me. So, I am now at peace with this. I am not angry, I just know that I need to be an example. I want to live my life like Jesus did. He was the best man to ever live. I want to learn everything that I can about Him. I want to soak up everything that I can. When you unclutter your life, you heard God more clearly. It is so wonderful. You do not have so many things distracting you. I want to eventually get to the point where if God asked me to do something, I could give up everything and just go. Like Jesus said 'Go, sell everything, & then come, follow Me'. How beautiful is that.
I have come a long way in personal relationships also. I have prayed that God fills me with love, and rid me of any type of anxiety or hate. I definitely see a change in myself. I want to revolve my life around helping others. But, I have had a lot of challenges as my life has changed. I have lost a lot of friends. Well, I thought they were friends. Now that I do not go out to parties or do anything like that, I feel like people have abandoned me. I still have a few friends, but I have even cut back on my time with them a lot. I still have a few friends who want to go out on weekends. I can't do that with them. I tried, but it is just opening a door for trouble. Since I am still weak in areas, there are places that I just cannot go to. So, some of my friends, I can just go out to dinner with, or watch a movie with now. Which is fine. It shows that they are true friends to do that with me, and understand it. The friends that are still with me are like gold. They are hard to find, but they have been with me forever it seems. We have been through thick and thin, literally. But friends do go through fights and tough times, but it just makes the good times that much better.
An update on Bows for Haiti..
We have now turned this project into 'Bows and Bracelets for Haiti'. My sweet next door neighbors taught me how to make the cutest bead and fabric bracelets. I am making bracelets to take the older girls and women. They are so cute! I have made a few bows, but I have been so busy with school and all. Now that I am finished with school until August, I can focus a lot more time into making bows. In fact, Deanna is coming over today and we are having a bow making day!! I am super excited! I
I have also done several photo shoots, and my yard sale was a great success! I am only a few hundred dollars away from what I need for the trip. I feel so blessed. I was so overwhelmed with the amount of money that I needed. I prayed, and God has more than answered! This whole experience has taught me a lot. My whole life I have always been given everything that I wanted. This time, I had to work and give up things. But, it feels so good. I really hope the girls like the bows and bracelets. I just want to make them smile, and know that they are so completely Loved. I am now trying to prepare myself for the trip. I have no idea what to expect, but I know it will break my heart. It will be a humbling experience.
I am also thinking about starting a fundraiser for the victims of the earthquake and tsunami in Japan. I want to make as many bracelets and bows as I can for Haiti, so I do not know how much time I will have before my trip. I want to make bows and bracelets and sell them to raise money to give to a Christian organization that has people over there. Or, maybe I could raise money and go over there this summer? Who knows! I will see what God has in store for me!
God has been so good to me. I have been learning more and more. I realize how important it is to invest time and effort. That is the only way your relationship with God will grow. It has been so wonderful, and I can't wait to see what the future has in store!
'til next time--
I have gone through so many more changes just in the past month, and my life is so different than I ever thought it would be. I had all of these plans for my life that consisted of a lot of money and other material items. I thought that is what I wanted out of life. But, things have turned out much different. It is turning out to be much better than I could ever imagine.
I am still working on simplifying my life. I am still sorting through my closet. But, at this moment I feel like I could go rip everything out of my closet, and keep a few things, and I would be just fine. I think I might go throw a few more things out of my closet today. It feels so great, and so freeing. I want so bad to unclutter my life, especially this next month before I go to Haiti. God has really led me to fasting. I have felt Him telling me to fast. I bought a book and started reading on it. It makes total sense to me. I had this preconceived thought about fasting before I ever read about it. I had always heard people say 'we are fasting today at church'. And, I never understood this. I thought 'why would you not eat all day?' 'what good does that do?'. But, I think I had just heard it from friends who didn't really understand the concept either. Now that my relationship with God is growing deeper, I believe it is something important that I should do. It would free up my time, and help me focus more on God. I wouldn't completely do without food. I am still reading about it, and I will read more on how to fast. I would just eat a litttttttttle bit. Just enough to survive. At church we have been studying different types of prayer. We are supposed to pick one and do it for the next few weeks. Since I just finished school for a while, I chose Solitude. Meaning, I am going to set aside a few hours to just be still and listen. I can read my bible, write or listen to music. But, I will just take that time to soak in God's Love. I think fasting and this type of prayer go hand in hand. So, I am going to start this full on by Monday. The reason I am waiting is because I am going with the youth to March Mission Madness this weekend and things will be all crazy.
I have really been focusing my life around Matthew 6. Jesus shows us the type of life we should live. I think being a Christian, it is important to actually live the lifestyle that Jesus told us to live. I know we live in a different time period, but that doesn't matter. We can still live like Him, or at least try our best. :) So, that is what I am focusing my life on right now. It is hard. It is definitely a process. You can't completely change your life in one day. It takes a lot of prayer. I still have a long, long way to go. You know, at first, I started getting kind of angry. I would look around at my christian friends and wonder why I had to give up everything when they didn't. But, after a LOT of praying, I have come to accept it. Everyone is at different stages of their relationship with God. I was completely different two years ago, but look how far I have come. It is something that everyone will learn. Everyone will eventually learn that money does not buy you happiness. It just takes me. It took time for me. So, I am now at peace with this. I am not angry, I just know that I need to be an example. I want to live my life like Jesus did. He was the best man to ever live. I want to learn everything that I can about Him. I want to soak up everything that I can. When you unclutter your life, you heard God more clearly. It is so wonderful. You do not have so many things distracting you. I want to eventually get to the point where if God asked me to do something, I could give up everything and just go. Like Jesus said 'Go, sell everything, & then come, follow Me'. How beautiful is that.
I have come a long way in personal relationships also. I have prayed that God fills me with love, and rid me of any type of anxiety or hate. I definitely see a change in myself. I want to revolve my life around helping others. But, I have had a lot of challenges as my life has changed. I have lost a lot of friends. Well, I thought they were friends. Now that I do not go out to parties or do anything like that, I feel like people have abandoned me. I still have a few friends, but I have even cut back on my time with them a lot. I still have a few friends who want to go out on weekends. I can't do that with them. I tried, but it is just opening a door for trouble. Since I am still weak in areas, there are places that I just cannot go to. So, some of my friends, I can just go out to dinner with, or watch a movie with now. Which is fine. It shows that they are true friends to do that with me, and understand it. The friends that are still with me are like gold. They are hard to find, but they have been with me forever it seems. We have been through thick and thin, literally. But friends do go through fights and tough times, but it just makes the good times that much better.
An update on Bows for Haiti..
We have now turned this project into 'Bows and Bracelets for Haiti'. My sweet next door neighbors taught me how to make the cutest bead and fabric bracelets. I am making bracelets to take the older girls and women. They are so cute! I have made a few bows, but I have been so busy with school and all. Now that I am finished with school until August, I can focus a lot more time into making bows. In fact, Deanna is coming over today and we are having a bow making day!! I am super excited! I
I have also done several photo shoots, and my yard sale was a great success! I am only a few hundred dollars away from what I need for the trip. I feel so blessed. I was so overwhelmed with the amount of money that I needed. I prayed, and God has more than answered! This whole experience has taught me a lot. My whole life I have always been given everything that I wanted. This time, I had to work and give up things. But, it feels so good. I really hope the girls like the bows and bracelets. I just want to make them smile, and know that they are so completely Loved. I am now trying to prepare myself for the trip. I have no idea what to expect, but I know it will break my heart. It will be a humbling experience.
I am also thinking about starting a fundraiser for the victims of the earthquake and tsunami in Japan. I want to make as many bracelets and bows as I can for Haiti, so I do not know how much time I will have before my trip. I want to make bows and bracelets and sell them to raise money to give to a Christian organization that has people over there. Or, maybe I could raise money and go over there this summer? Who knows! I will see what God has in store for me!
God has been so good to me. I have been learning more and more. I realize how important it is to invest time and effort. That is the only way your relationship with God will grow. It has been so wonderful, and I can't wait to see what the future has in store!
'til next time--
Thursday, March 10, 2011
rollercoaster
My life has been one giant roller coaster ride this week. It started out good and bad. I had my yard sale on Saturday, and I raised a lot of money for my mission trip. That was such a blessing! I never expected to make as much as I did. While the yard sale was going on, I got a letter from the Medical College of Georgia. I was kind of hesitant to open it, it was the first admission letter I was receiving. I opened it, and it said I was chosen as an alternate. An alternate. That was a big slap in the face. I thought I had a good chance of getting in. I didn't really care at the moment, I was busy with my yard sale. But, Sunday night at about 11:00 p.m it hit me. I started crying, and I thought it was the end of the world. I do not know what pushed me over the edge. Maybe the thought of being stuck in this town another year, or even worse, the rest of my life. No offense to anyone who lives here, I guess it just isn't my style. I had been joking with my boss about how I was going to be a lifeguard there the rest of my life. Sunday night I could envision that happening. Olivia called me and calmed me down. I really needed to be calmed down. I was gasping for breath I was so upset. It is so weird, I never get that upset. Thank goodness for good friends like that, I might have cried the whole night. She finally got me calmed down enough to fall asleep. I read the bible before I went to bed, and I told God that if His will wasn't for me to go to nursing school, then that was fine. I just prayed that He would make it obvious to me what He wanted. I got up the next morning, I still felt a little sad. It is just a huge let down to wait 6 months to get the letter, and when you do.. you're an alternate. I woke up a little early so I could drink some coffee before heading to school. I started thinking about how I was slowly, but surely, failing at life. So, before I got too upset.. I got out the bible and spent a good 30 minutes just praying. I read some of the bible also. I thought I had only prayed a few minutes, and when I looked at the clock, it had been 30 minutes. It was very odd, but cool. After that, I felt a peaceful feeling come over me. I knew that God would show me the way.
I got ready for school, and went by the Church to visit my mom for a minute. She told me to go check the p.o box because she wouldn't have a chance to check it. When I opened the p.o box, I saw it. The letter from the office of admission of Piedmont College. My heart stopped. This was my last option. I hadn't applied anywhere else, so if I was going to nursing school, then this was it. I had an interview there a few weeks ago, so I thought I had a pretty good chance of getting in. But, I still wasn't sure. Piedmont had 60 spots available at the Demorest campus, and 25 spots in Athens. This fall will be the very first nursing class at the Athens campus. The secretary said that out of over 250 applicants, they all wanted Athens. She said, the only fair way they could do it was to choose the top 25 based on their gpa and TEAS test scores. I figured I did not have a chance in the world at getting in the Athens campus. So, you can imagine my surprise when I opened the letter telling me that I was accepted to the fall 2011 nursing class, Athens campus! It took me a second to open the letter. I called my mom, because I literally could not open it. I finally did, and when I read it, I jumped and screamed. I was so excited. God had sent me this at the perfect time. It shows how trusting God with your future will work perfectly every time. God made it so perfect. So that was a great day for me.
The rest of the week has been a little off though. Tuesday was pretty perfect. Olivia took me out to lunch to celebrate. We went to my favorite restaurant, Amici's. It was such a beautiful day, so I took my dog Allie and we sat outside. It was such a beautiful day, and it was so warm. After we stuffed ourselves there, we went to Ella's to get gelato. Ooohhh it was so good. Ella's is the best. Ever. The owner seriously let us try every single flavor. I chose 'Go Dawgs'. It was red velvet cake flavored, with pieces of dark chocolate in it. It was heaven! On the way home my car made this funny noise and kind of did this jumpy thing. Olivia suggested that I get my transmission checked out. I brushed it off and told her it was probably nothing.
When I pulled into the school parking lot yesterday, a message came up saying that my engine coolant was hot. I mean, who knows what engine coolant is? I sure don't. But, I don't know really anything about cars. I called my mom, and she called the car care place. They told me to just watch the gauge and if it got too hot, then they would tow me. When I left to go home, my gauge shot up to about 245. So, I pulled over and waited about an hour and a half for a tow truck. In the rain. I was parked at a gas station, so I decided to go in and get something to drink. While I was waiting in line, the tow truck pulled up, so I told the cashier that I would be right back to pay. When I came back in, he said 'You don't owe anything, the man that was behind you paid for it, he said you were too beautiful to have your car broken down'. How sweet. Even though I was in a bad situation, that brightened up things a bit. It is nice to know that there are still such nice people out there. And, the tow truck man was very nice and talkative. He was actually good friends with my dad. I was so worried that the ride back would be awkward, but it wasn't at all. When I finally got back to Madison around 6:30, my mom picked me up from the shop. We had to skip church. I was disappointed because I really was looking forward to last night. Last night, my throat started to hurt. By the time I went to sleep, it was hurting pretty bad. It kept me up pretty much all night. When I woke up this morning at 5, I had no voice and I could barely breath. Coffee helped a little bit, but it hurts so bad. I am going to the doctor after lunch. I feel like I always get strep throat right around finals time. It never fails! I guess being stressed doesn't help.
Wow, I feel like I have written and play by play of my week. But, it has just been one of those weeks. I wanted to write out everything, so later in life I can remember this week. I actually print these posts out and glue them in my journal. I used to write in it, but the pain in my arm hurts too much to write a lot. I like to write a lot, so I just started typing up everything.
'til next time--
I got ready for school, and went by the Church to visit my mom for a minute. She told me to go check the p.o box because she wouldn't have a chance to check it. When I opened the p.o box, I saw it. The letter from the office of admission of Piedmont College. My heart stopped. This was my last option. I hadn't applied anywhere else, so if I was going to nursing school, then this was it. I had an interview there a few weeks ago, so I thought I had a pretty good chance of getting in. But, I still wasn't sure. Piedmont had 60 spots available at the Demorest campus, and 25 spots in Athens. This fall will be the very first nursing class at the Athens campus. The secretary said that out of over 250 applicants, they all wanted Athens. She said, the only fair way they could do it was to choose the top 25 based on their gpa and TEAS test scores. I figured I did not have a chance in the world at getting in the Athens campus. So, you can imagine my surprise when I opened the letter telling me that I was accepted to the fall 2011 nursing class, Athens campus! It took me a second to open the letter. I called my mom, because I literally could not open it. I finally did, and when I read it, I jumped and screamed. I was so excited. God had sent me this at the perfect time. It shows how trusting God with your future will work perfectly every time. God made it so perfect. So that was a great day for me.
The rest of the week has been a little off though. Tuesday was pretty perfect. Olivia took me out to lunch to celebrate. We went to my favorite restaurant, Amici's. It was such a beautiful day, so I took my dog Allie and we sat outside. It was such a beautiful day, and it was so warm. After we stuffed ourselves there, we went to Ella's to get gelato. Ooohhh it was so good. Ella's is the best. Ever. The owner seriously let us try every single flavor. I chose 'Go Dawgs'. It was red velvet cake flavored, with pieces of dark chocolate in it. It was heaven! On the way home my car made this funny noise and kind of did this jumpy thing. Olivia suggested that I get my transmission checked out. I brushed it off and told her it was probably nothing.
When I pulled into the school parking lot yesterday, a message came up saying that my engine coolant was hot. I mean, who knows what engine coolant is? I sure don't. But, I don't know really anything about cars. I called my mom, and she called the car care place. They told me to just watch the gauge and if it got too hot, then they would tow me. When I left to go home, my gauge shot up to about 245. So, I pulled over and waited about an hour and a half for a tow truck. In the rain. I was parked at a gas station, so I decided to go in and get something to drink. While I was waiting in line, the tow truck pulled up, so I told the cashier that I would be right back to pay. When I came back in, he said 'You don't owe anything, the man that was behind you paid for it, he said you were too beautiful to have your car broken down'. How sweet. Even though I was in a bad situation, that brightened up things a bit. It is nice to know that there are still such nice people out there. And, the tow truck man was very nice and talkative. He was actually good friends with my dad. I was so worried that the ride back would be awkward, but it wasn't at all. When I finally got back to Madison around 6:30, my mom picked me up from the shop. We had to skip church. I was disappointed because I really was looking forward to last night. Last night, my throat started to hurt. By the time I went to sleep, it was hurting pretty bad. It kept me up pretty much all night. When I woke up this morning at 5, I had no voice and I could barely breath. Coffee helped a little bit, but it hurts so bad. I am going to the doctor after lunch. I feel like I always get strep throat right around finals time. It never fails! I guess being stressed doesn't help.
Wow, I feel like I have written and play by play of my week. But, it has just been one of those weeks. I wanted to write out everything, so later in life I can remember this week. I actually print these posts out and glue them in my journal. I used to write in it, but the pain in my arm hurts too much to write a lot. I like to write a lot, so I just started typing up everything.
'til next time--
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Many are the plans in a man's heart..
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19: 21
Last night at church, we talked about how we get caught up in making plans for our life. We worry about where we will be in 5 or 10 years, when tomorrow is not even promised. We worry about what clothes we will wear or what car we will drive. Doesn't God tell us not to worry about these things? So why do we do it? I know I could say the overused phrase "we are human, we can't be perfect.. blah blah". But, if we follow Christ, aren't we supposed to thrive to be like Him? Are we not supposed to live humbly and help others? Yes, we are human and we are not perfect, but we should do everything we can to live the way Christ said to live. I mean, Jesus was the best and smartest man to ever live, who wouldn't want to be like Him? Well, back to what I was saying. We get caught up in making plans for our futures. I have tried to cut that out of my life. Sure, I talk about plans that I would like to see happen with my future in missions or whatnot. But, I hear people all the time talking about what car they are going to have, where they will live, how much money they will make.. It is exhausting to listen to that! What happens if none of that happens to you? You will be let down! That is why you should just live right now. Live today. Love the people in front of you today. Do not worry or talk about what is to come in the future, because you cannot determine that. I can tell you first hand. I went to college with my future planned out. I was going to be in the best sorority, marry a doctor and live happily ever after. I am not joking when I say that. That was seriously my plan. If you know me now, you would think that is crazy that I once thought that. I am not like that anymore because I gave all of my life and trust to God. It is so freeing when you do that. I worry much less, and I focus more on what is right in front of me. I live for right now. My little piece of advice is 'stop planning your future'. It does not matter what car you will have or where you will live. If you let God determine your future, you will have something much better than you ever planned. I promise. Perfect love does not fear or worry. Love God wholly and without fear. He makes everything perfect with time.
It takes a lot of time to reform you life and trust in God with all that you have. Believe me, it has been a long journey. The first step is to tell God to take away your worries and replace them with peace. Tell God that you trust Him with your future. Eventually, you stop planning your future. How boring would your life be if you knew your future already? What fun is that, there would be no surprise!
It is just so exhausting listening to people talk and plan their futures. I used to do it too, it is tiring thinking about how I used to be.
I was reading in Jeremiah about the potters wheel. It makes so much sense. Just give your life over to God, and He will make this beautiful life for you. He has so many great plans for you, you just have no idea. He will take you places that you never in a million years imagined you would go!
I know this post is pretty rambly (not sure if that is a word, but I like it) and odd, but deal with it. It is 6 a.m. It is the best I can do! :)
Here are some pictures from my 'Bows for Haiti' journey!
All of my fabric!! ahh!
love--
Last night at church, we talked about how we get caught up in making plans for our life. We worry about where we will be in 5 or 10 years, when tomorrow is not even promised. We worry about what clothes we will wear or what car we will drive. Doesn't God tell us not to worry about these things? So why do we do it? I know I could say the overused phrase "we are human, we can't be perfect.. blah blah". But, if we follow Christ, aren't we supposed to thrive to be like Him? Are we not supposed to live humbly and help others? Yes, we are human and we are not perfect, but we should do everything we can to live the way Christ said to live. I mean, Jesus was the best and smartest man to ever live, who wouldn't want to be like Him? Well, back to what I was saying. We get caught up in making plans for our futures. I have tried to cut that out of my life. Sure, I talk about plans that I would like to see happen with my future in missions or whatnot. But, I hear people all the time talking about what car they are going to have, where they will live, how much money they will make.. It is exhausting to listen to that! What happens if none of that happens to you? You will be let down! That is why you should just live right now. Live today. Love the people in front of you today. Do not worry or talk about what is to come in the future, because you cannot determine that. I can tell you first hand. I went to college with my future planned out. I was going to be in the best sorority, marry a doctor and live happily ever after. I am not joking when I say that. That was seriously my plan. If you know me now, you would think that is crazy that I once thought that. I am not like that anymore because I gave all of my life and trust to God. It is so freeing when you do that. I worry much less, and I focus more on what is right in front of me. I live for right now. My little piece of advice is 'stop planning your future'. It does not matter what car you will have or where you will live. If you let God determine your future, you will have something much better than you ever planned. I promise. Perfect love does not fear or worry. Love God wholly and without fear. He makes everything perfect with time.
It takes a lot of time to reform you life and trust in God with all that you have. Believe me, it has been a long journey. The first step is to tell God to take away your worries and replace them with peace. Tell God that you trust Him with your future. Eventually, you stop planning your future. How boring would your life be if you knew your future already? What fun is that, there would be no surprise!
It is just so exhausting listening to people talk and plan their futures. I used to do it too, it is tiring thinking about how I used to be.
I was reading in Jeremiah about the potters wheel. It makes so much sense. Just give your life over to God, and He will make this beautiful life for you. He has so many great plans for you, you just have no idea. He will take you places that you never in a million years imagined you would go!
I know this post is pretty rambly (not sure if that is a word, but I like it) and odd, but deal with it. It is 6 a.m. It is the best I can do! :)
Here are some pictures from my 'Bows for Haiti' journey!
All of my fabric!! ahh!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Feb-you-where-ey
Hello good people!
First off, can I please say... I hate spelling 'February"! I can never spell it right. I just hate it so much. And hate is a strong word. I feel like it should be spelled Febyouwherey. That would make my life a whole lot easier. I am not sure why the person who made up the names of the months felt they needed to make the second month difficult to spell.
Anyways, enough rambling about the spelling of Febuary. oops there I go spelling it wrong again. I am going to leave it that way. I like it.
My life has been super busy the past few days. But, I like when my life is busy. I have been getting ready for my yard sale. As you know, I am having a yard sale to raise money for my mission trip to Haiti. At first I thought that I would not have enough stuff to make a good yard sale. But, God has provided me so much. I have so many wonderful friends and family that have donated stuff. They have taken the time to search through their stuff and get it to me. That takes a lot and I am so grateful. I feel so loved. I am still getting a lot of stuff. This is going to be a huge yard sale. I hope I can make a good chunk of the money I need. Everything that does not sell is going to be donated to a homeless shelter or other type of shelter. Not only is the money from this yard sale going to a good cause, but we will be donating to the homeless after. What a great cause!
My other project that I have been working on is "Bows for Haiti". My beautiful friend Deanna Perlman makes the most beautiful hair bows. She has been kind enough to donate all of her profits during the month of march to me for my trip! I could not believe it when she told me she was doing that. Not only is she doing that, we are doing a 'one for one' project. Meaning, for every bow sold, she is making one to send with me to Haiti. I will be giving out these bows to the young ladies of Haiti. I am also making bows to take. I am hoping to have a good many to take with me! It is such a beautiful idea. The country is in such despair, and they need so much. It is overwhelming. But, besides the urgent need for things such as medical aid, food and water, the people would also love little gifts. All women, no matter what region of the world, want to feel beautiful. I am hoping these bows will bring a smile to their faces, and remind them that they are loved and beautiful. We make all different styles and have many different fabrics. Deanna and I are also working on planning a 'Bow Party'. This will work kind of like a Mary Kay party or Southern Living party. We are thinking about having two, one in Athens and one in Madison. We will invite everyone one afternoon to the house. We will have snacks, coffee and other such things. We will have different styles of bows on display for people to look at and try on. We will have samples of the fabrics that we have to choose from. People can custom design the bow that they want by picking the style and fabric colors. We will record their order and once we have them made we will mail it to them. :) But, the most exciting part is... you will have a chance to design a bow for a little girl in Haiti!! You can design a bow that you want to be given to a little girl in Haiti. We will also let you write a note to go with the hair bow. I am super excited about this! I am so grateful to have such great friends like Deanna. She did not have to help me, but she has went above and beyond to do this. She is super excited about this whole idea of taking bows out into the world and giving them to young women.
When I found out about this trip to Haiti, I automatically said I was 100% going. I did not think one minute about the money. I knew I was supposed to go, it was such a strong emotion, I cannot really explain it. But, when you know God is pushing you to do something, do not delay! Do it! Do not think about how you will do it, God will direct you the whole way. A few days after I committed, I began worrying about how I was going to pay for it. It is a lot of money, especially when I am running low at the moment! But, God has provided so many opportunities for me. He is making sure that I have the money. It really has not been a struggle at all. So many people have been willing to go above and beyond to help me. It shows me that if you just trust in God, things will turn out wonderfully.
I have learned not to worry so much. I have prayed that God will take away my awful anxiety problem. I am currently no longer on blood pressure medicine and my anxiety has went down tremendously. When I start getting overwhelmed with a situation, I give it to God. I have realized that all of my many plans do not always go according to plan. Actually, plans that I make rarely go accordingly. I used to get so upset when things went a different way then I planned, now I am learning to embrace it. I give it to God and I just go with the flow. I trust that God will help me get through any problem. You see, that has been one of my major problems the past few years. I used to not put my trust in God. I would try to get everything done myself. I would pretty much put God on hold and say 'God I know you say to put my burdens on you, but I just have so many and I cannot help but worry about them'. Never doubt the power of God. Never question whether he can do anything. I still struggle with this. But, it takes time.
Well, here is a little follow up on my last blog. I know I ranted and raved about the whole materialistic problem in America. Well, God has shown me a lot of things to go along with that. I have been studying the book of Matthew. Especially Matthew 6 and 7. Jesus tells us not to stress over the clothes we where or the food we eat. One thing that was so beautiful to me was when He said 'are not the flowers in the field beautiful, and do they worry about what they wear? If the best dressed person in the world stood next to one, they would not even compare". That is just so wonderful to hear. I also watch a video of a preachers sermon at a youth conference. This man was outraged, it reminded me of how I feel about this issue. It is a great video. This man got a lot of criticism, but all he did was tell the truth. A lot of people did not want to hear the truth. People like to hear things that make them excited, and make them feel good about themselves. But, the people of America need a wake up call. He talked about how America gives people the idea that just because they did an alter call once, they are saved. Americans take this too lightly. They get saved, and usually what happens next? Nothing. Going up to an alter call is just the beginning of a very long journey. Like he said, 70% of Americans are 'saved'. But, how many of them actually live like it? I know the past few years I thought I was saved and I did not live like it at all. It was all because I had this mentality that whatever I did, I was saved. That, my friend, is so wrong. I have finally come to realize it, and I want to spread this message to make others realize. Americans really do take this too lightly. In other countries, you know people truly believe because they could loose their life over it. So how do we know if we truly believe in America? By our acts. Now that does not mean going to church one or two days a week and doing a few good deeds. We need to be submerged in the Word. We need to live every aspect of our lives through Jesus. So many people in America are lukewarm. They may do a few things right, but they make up for it in other ways. There are so many things we need to change. If we are followers of the Almighty God, we should not be watching shows such as 'Jersey Shore', 'Keeping up with the Kardashians' and, especially, 'Skins'. We should not be dressing like the rest of the world. All of the promiscuity is ridiculous. And, not to mention all of the money spent on fashion. We should not be involved in certain activities. How do you think Jesus feels to hear you profess His name then go later that night go drink at a party? Relationships are no longer holy. There are so many things wrong in today's world. We worship celebrities and make them idols. God must be so saddened.
So, it is a time to get back to how it is supposed to be. We need to get the word out and show people how it is supposed to be done. That is the only way people will change. We are taught a certain way in America, and it is only getting worse.
I have been working on my life tremendously. I have been cleaning out my closet. It has about half of the stuff in it today than it had in it two weeks ago. I am taking down things in my room that add clutter. I am trying to make my life more God centered. It is so refreshing. I am not caught up on pleasing the world or trying to be like everyone else. It is something everyone should try. Clean out your stuff! Give to people who are in need!
Another exciting thing.. I am in my friend Danielle's wedding! I am so excited! The wedding is in June in Savannah. It is going to be beautiful. Not to mention the Danielle and Phil are so in love. I know it is true love. There is no doubt in my mind that God brought these two together for a reason. They deserve the best. I wish more relationships where like theirs. They better each other, and both are overflowing with God's love. You can look at them and see pure joy. Ahh, I love it! It makes me excited to find the guy God has made for me. I know he is out there somewhere.. just not sure where yet!
Until we meet again..
love--
First off, can I please say... I hate spelling 'February"! I can never spell it right. I just hate it so much. And hate is a strong word. I feel like it should be spelled Febyouwherey. That would make my life a whole lot easier. I am not sure why the person who made up the names of the months felt they needed to make the second month difficult to spell.
Anyways, enough rambling about the spelling of Febuary. oops there I go spelling it wrong again. I am going to leave it that way. I like it.
My life has been super busy the past few days. But, I like when my life is busy. I have been getting ready for my yard sale. As you know, I am having a yard sale to raise money for my mission trip to Haiti. At first I thought that I would not have enough stuff to make a good yard sale. But, God has provided me so much. I have so many wonderful friends and family that have donated stuff. They have taken the time to search through their stuff and get it to me. That takes a lot and I am so grateful. I feel so loved. I am still getting a lot of stuff. This is going to be a huge yard sale. I hope I can make a good chunk of the money I need. Everything that does not sell is going to be donated to a homeless shelter or other type of shelter. Not only is the money from this yard sale going to a good cause, but we will be donating to the homeless after. What a great cause!
My other project that I have been working on is "Bows for Haiti". My beautiful friend Deanna Perlman makes the most beautiful hair bows. She has been kind enough to donate all of her profits during the month of march to me for my trip! I could not believe it when she told me she was doing that. Not only is she doing that, we are doing a 'one for one' project. Meaning, for every bow sold, she is making one to send with me to Haiti. I will be giving out these bows to the young ladies of Haiti. I am also making bows to take. I am hoping to have a good many to take with me! It is such a beautiful idea. The country is in such despair, and they need so much. It is overwhelming. But, besides the urgent need for things such as medical aid, food and water, the people would also love little gifts. All women, no matter what region of the world, want to feel beautiful. I am hoping these bows will bring a smile to their faces, and remind them that they are loved and beautiful. We make all different styles and have many different fabrics. Deanna and I are also working on planning a 'Bow Party'. This will work kind of like a Mary Kay party or Southern Living party. We are thinking about having two, one in Athens and one in Madison. We will invite everyone one afternoon to the house. We will have snacks, coffee and other such things. We will have different styles of bows on display for people to look at and try on. We will have samples of the fabrics that we have to choose from. People can custom design the bow that they want by picking the style and fabric colors. We will record their order and once we have them made we will mail it to them. :) But, the most exciting part is... you will have a chance to design a bow for a little girl in Haiti!! You can design a bow that you want to be given to a little girl in Haiti. We will also let you write a note to go with the hair bow. I am super excited about this! I am so grateful to have such great friends like Deanna. She did not have to help me, but she has went above and beyond to do this. She is super excited about this whole idea of taking bows out into the world and giving them to young women.
When I found out about this trip to Haiti, I automatically said I was 100% going. I did not think one minute about the money. I knew I was supposed to go, it was such a strong emotion, I cannot really explain it. But, when you know God is pushing you to do something, do not delay! Do it! Do not think about how you will do it, God will direct you the whole way. A few days after I committed, I began worrying about how I was going to pay for it. It is a lot of money, especially when I am running low at the moment! But, God has provided so many opportunities for me. He is making sure that I have the money. It really has not been a struggle at all. So many people have been willing to go above and beyond to help me. It shows me that if you just trust in God, things will turn out wonderfully.
I have learned not to worry so much. I have prayed that God will take away my awful anxiety problem. I am currently no longer on blood pressure medicine and my anxiety has went down tremendously. When I start getting overwhelmed with a situation, I give it to God. I have realized that all of my many plans do not always go according to plan. Actually, plans that I make rarely go accordingly. I used to get so upset when things went a different way then I planned, now I am learning to embrace it. I give it to God and I just go with the flow. I trust that God will help me get through any problem. You see, that has been one of my major problems the past few years. I used to not put my trust in God. I would try to get everything done myself. I would pretty much put God on hold and say 'God I know you say to put my burdens on you, but I just have so many and I cannot help but worry about them'. Never doubt the power of God. Never question whether he can do anything. I still struggle with this. But, it takes time.
Well, here is a little follow up on my last blog. I know I ranted and raved about the whole materialistic problem in America. Well, God has shown me a lot of things to go along with that. I have been studying the book of Matthew. Especially Matthew 6 and 7. Jesus tells us not to stress over the clothes we where or the food we eat. One thing that was so beautiful to me was when He said 'are not the flowers in the field beautiful, and do they worry about what they wear? If the best dressed person in the world stood next to one, they would not even compare". That is just so wonderful to hear. I also watch a video of a preachers sermon at a youth conference. This man was outraged, it reminded me of how I feel about this issue. It is a great video. This man got a lot of criticism, but all he did was tell the truth. A lot of people did not want to hear the truth. People like to hear things that make them excited, and make them feel good about themselves. But, the people of America need a wake up call. He talked about how America gives people the idea that just because they did an alter call once, they are saved. Americans take this too lightly. They get saved, and usually what happens next? Nothing. Going up to an alter call is just the beginning of a very long journey. Like he said, 70% of Americans are 'saved'. But, how many of them actually live like it? I know the past few years I thought I was saved and I did not live like it at all. It was all because I had this mentality that whatever I did, I was saved. That, my friend, is so wrong. I have finally come to realize it, and I want to spread this message to make others realize. Americans really do take this too lightly. In other countries, you know people truly believe because they could loose their life over it. So how do we know if we truly believe in America? By our acts. Now that does not mean going to church one or two days a week and doing a few good deeds. We need to be submerged in the Word. We need to live every aspect of our lives through Jesus. So many people in America are lukewarm. They may do a few things right, but they make up for it in other ways. There are so many things we need to change. If we are followers of the Almighty God, we should not be watching shows such as 'Jersey Shore', 'Keeping up with the Kardashians' and, especially, 'Skins'. We should not be dressing like the rest of the world. All of the promiscuity is ridiculous. And, not to mention all of the money spent on fashion. We should not be involved in certain activities. How do you think Jesus feels to hear you profess His name then go later that night go drink at a party? Relationships are no longer holy. There are so many things wrong in today's world. We worship celebrities and make them idols. God must be so saddened.
So, it is a time to get back to how it is supposed to be. We need to get the word out and show people how it is supposed to be done. That is the only way people will change. We are taught a certain way in America, and it is only getting worse.
I have been working on my life tremendously. I have been cleaning out my closet. It has about half of the stuff in it today than it had in it two weeks ago. I am taking down things in my room that add clutter. I am trying to make my life more God centered. It is so refreshing. I am not caught up on pleasing the world or trying to be like everyone else. It is something everyone should try. Clean out your stuff! Give to people who are in need!
Another exciting thing.. I am in my friend Danielle's wedding! I am so excited! The wedding is in June in Savannah. It is going to be beautiful. Not to mention the Danielle and Phil are so in love. I know it is true love. There is no doubt in my mind that God brought these two together for a reason. They deserve the best. I wish more relationships where like theirs. They better each other, and both are overflowing with God's love. You can look at them and see pure joy. Ahh, I love it! It makes me excited to find the guy God has made for me. I know he is out there somewhere.. just not sure where yet!
Until we meet again..
love--
Friday, February 18, 2011
"...then come, follow Me."
So a lot has been on my heart lately. I have not really written anything on here recently either. I have just been trying to deal with all of these emotions. As my relationship with God gets even stronger, I learn more and more about how I need to live my life. But, I do not see most 'christians' living this way. It hurts me so bad. It hurts me to think that I used to call myself a follower of Jesus the way I used to act. But, I have changed. The Spirit has been working very heavily in my life lately. It is like someone turned on a light bulb. I suddenly get it. I suddenly understand how I need to be living. I am sorry this blog is all over the place right now. But, I am just writing as thoughts come to mind, and my mind is all over the place. Literally, I feel like I am going crazy.
I am currently doing a bible study about how the church today is in a crisis. I believe this is VERY much true. I see so many people attending church, but outside of church, their behaviors do not reflect anything of God. It is as if church has become a social event. People attend to chit chat and look good for the community. People, people, PEOPLE!!!! What is going on?! What are we doing? This is not what Jesus commanded us to do. Things are getting so bad, it overwhelms me to think of all the changes that need to be made.
First, I want to express my concern for materialism in today's world. We have so much stuff. Stuff. stuff stuff stuff. There is no other word for it. It is cluttering our life. With so much clutter, how can there possibly be room for Jesus? We tend to stuff Him on the top shelf of our closets where the rest the 'stuff we use only on certain occassions' is. We live in a world where you are defined by what you have. At least that is what most people think. When you really and truly devote your life to Jesus, you realize none of that stuff matters. You realize our life here is only a faint whisper of what awaits us in heaven. You realize that you do not need to newest clothes, or shoes, or even seven jackets to survive. Would you survive with one jacket? Exactly. I think you get my point. So, instead of sitting here complaining about the world having materialistic problems. I decided to start with my life. I am uncluttering my life. It takes a lot more time than I realized it would. I went through one closet at first. I pulled out a few things. Then I went through it again, and got a few more things. But, it still just did not feel right. So, I prayed, and went back in there one more time. Let's just say there is a lot more free space in that closet now. I am going to do this to every bit of my space. I am collecting everything that is cluttering my life. Literally. This is a huge thing for me. It is tough. Everyone wants nice things. Everyone wants to have the cutest clothes or newest style. So, cleaning out my closet was tough. There were things that I wanted to hold on to, but I knew I did not need. It is refreshing now though. I feel like I can start to breath again. I feel like I am taking the first step in the direction God is pulling me on this journey. I am having a yard sale, the stuff will be very cheap. The reason I am having a yard sale is because I am in desperite need to raise money for my Haiti mission trip. Everything that is not sold is going to go to a homeless shelter, or something similar. Materialism is a huge issue we need to deal with. People are out in the world suffering, while we worry about something silly that we do not need. Most of the world worries about how they will feed their family that day, while the rest of us worry about how we will get that new car. This is just a huge burdon on my heart right now. I have been praying for peace about this. I know there is so much to be done. I just do not know where to start. It is scary to think about it. People like their stuff. People do not want to give their things away. But, we need to share. We need to give to those less fortunate. By doing this, we can be closer to Jesus and more time to devote to Him.
I do not want to sound angry at all. I am just emotional about this issue right now.
We need a revolution. It is urgent.
I am currently doing a bible study about how the church today is in a crisis. I believe this is VERY much true. I see so many people attending church, but outside of church, their behaviors do not reflect anything of God. It is as if church has become a social event. People attend to chit chat and look good for the community. People, people, PEOPLE!!!! What is going on?! What are we doing? This is not what Jesus commanded us to do. Things are getting so bad, it overwhelms me to think of all the changes that need to be made.
First, I want to express my concern for materialism in today's world. We have so much stuff. Stuff. stuff stuff stuff. There is no other word for it. It is cluttering our life. With so much clutter, how can there possibly be room for Jesus? We tend to stuff Him on the top shelf of our closets where the rest the 'stuff we use only on certain occassions' is. We live in a world where you are defined by what you have. At least that is what most people think. When you really and truly devote your life to Jesus, you realize none of that stuff matters. You realize our life here is only a faint whisper of what awaits us in heaven. You realize that you do not need to newest clothes, or shoes, or even seven jackets to survive. Would you survive with one jacket? Exactly. I think you get my point. So, instead of sitting here complaining about the world having materialistic problems. I decided to start with my life. I am uncluttering my life. It takes a lot more time than I realized it would. I went through one closet at first. I pulled out a few things. Then I went through it again, and got a few more things. But, it still just did not feel right. So, I prayed, and went back in there one more time. Let's just say there is a lot more free space in that closet now. I am going to do this to every bit of my space. I am collecting everything that is cluttering my life. Literally. This is a huge thing for me. It is tough. Everyone wants nice things. Everyone wants to have the cutest clothes or newest style. So, cleaning out my closet was tough. There were things that I wanted to hold on to, but I knew I did not need. It is refreshing now though. I feel like I can start to breath again. I feel like I am taking the first step in the direction God is pulling me on this journey. I am having a yard sale, the stuff will be very cheap. The reason I am having a yard sale is because I am in desperite need to raise money for my Haiti mission trip. Everything that is not sold is going to go to a homeless shelter, or something similar. Materialism is a huge issue we need to deal with. People are out in the world suffering, while we worry about something silly that we do not need. Most of the world worries about how they will feed their family that day, while the rest of us worry about how we will get that new car. This is just a huge burdon on my heart right now. I have been praying for peace about this. I know there is so much to be done. I just do not know where to start. It is scary to think about it. People like their stuff. People do not want to give their things away. But, we need to share. We need to give to those less fortunate. By doing this, we can be closer to Jesus and more time to devote to Him.
I do not want to sound angry at all. I am just emotional about this issue right now.
We need a revolution. It is urgent.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
life is never boring
So I have had an interesting week. This past weekend I went with the youth group on a trip to Americus, Georgia. We stayed at Koinania Farm. Koinania was started during the civil rights movement when the south was a really harsh place for blacks to live. He went to seminary school in Louisville, Kentucky, and he knew it was his calling to minister to people in the deep south. Him and another guy dreamed up the idea, and they went down south in search of some farmland. They found the perfect spot, and they did not have the money. So they asked God why he put this idea in their heads if they could not afford it. About this time a rich lawyer heard about what they were doing and gave them the exact amount that they needed to purchase the land. God definitely took care of them. They started this farm up, and they hired whites and blacks. They paid the whites and blacks the same wage, and also let the blacks eat lunch with them. This was unheard of in the south during that time. They got a lot of heat for this. The families were shot at, a roadside fruit stand was bombed, the KKK tormented them, and the cops would never defend them. This went on for over a year, but they ended up surviving. Around this time Millard Fuller and his family moved here. If you didn't know, he started Habitat for Humanity. It started by building homes around the farm for less fortunate people in the county. It grew from there and now it is global!
Today, Koinania is still a very peaceful christian community. The people live in houses on the farm, and they live as a very close community. They eat, pray and worship together. They divide up the work equally. The people that have real jobs even share their paycheck equally. They divide up things according to needs. If the world was more like this, it would be a much better place. These people grow everything that they eat. They have cows, pigs and chickens. They grow every type of fruit and vegetable that you can think of. Their operation is really amazing to me. I believe in the American society, we do not know how to live in a community. It seems we are in a rush these days. What the hurry is, I am not sure. We do not slow down at all, and we are always preparing for what is ahead. These people live for the day, and it is such a beautiful thing. I wish Americans could learn to slow down and enjoy the simple things. Start living as a community. Get to know your neighbor, and share things that are in need. Love one another like you wish to be loved. This is how I want to live my life. So I am going to start focusing on this. I know I cannot be as independent as they are, I like Walmart too much. But, I want to focus on becoming more loving and living more like a community. Giving to people in need. Loving and helping everyone. I know I cannot change the world or I cannot change people by telling them this is how they should live. But, if people see me living this way, maybe they will want to change also. This is really the only way to reach the world.
We also went to Jimmy Carter's church. He taught us sunday school. Man oh man, he is such a great person. I know people have hard feelings against him, but after hearing him speak.. I have no idea how anyone could hate him. He is such a sweet man, and I learned a lot by listening to him. He was so funny. He said that he would not mind spending 40 days in the desert, because he thought that manna was probably like grits. He said that grits were the best food in the world. He told us a lot about Egypt and the current situation that is going on. I really enjoyed hearing from him. I will add some pictures later on when I get home..
love to you and all--
Today, Koinania is still a very peaceful christian community. The people live in houses on the farm, and they live as a very close community. They eat, pray and worship together. They divide up the work equally. The people that have real jobs even share their paycheck equally. They divide up things according to needs. If the world was more like this, it would be a much better place. These people grow everything that they eat. They have cows, pigs and chickens. They grow every type of fruit and vegetable that you can think of. Their operation is really amazing to me. I believe in the American society, we do not know how to live in a community. It seems we are in a rush these days. What the hurry is, I am not sure. We do not slow down at all, and we are always preparing for what is ahead. These people live for the day, and it is such a beautiful thing. I wish Americans could learn to slow down and enjoy the simple things. Start living as a community. Get to know your neighbor, and share things that are in need. Love one another like you wish to be loved. This is how I want to live my life. So I am going to start focusing on this. I know I cannot be as independent as they are, I like Walmart too much. But, I want to focus on becoming more loving and living more like a community. Giving to people in need. Loving and helping everyone. I know I cannot change the world or I cannot change people by telling them this is how they should live. But, if people see me living this way, maybe they will want to change also. This is really the only way to reach the world.
We also went to Jimmy Carter's church. He taught us sunday school. Man oh man, he is such a great person. I know people have hard feelings against him, but after hearing him speak.. I have no idea how anyone could hate him. He is such a sweet man, and I learned a lot by listening to him. He was so funny. He said that he would not mind spending 40 days in the desert, because he thought that manna was probably like grits. He said that grits were the best food in the world. He told us a lot about Egypt and the current situation that is going on. I really enjoyed hearing from him. I will add some pictures later on when I get home..
love to you and all--
Friday, February 11, 2011
What if she's an angel?
You should click on the link above and listen to this song. It makes you sit and think. How many times have I just pretended not to see people in need so I would not have to help them? I have done that a lot. Too many times actually. Now I make a point to help the people who are helpless and in need. I believe it is something everyone should do. If we shared our wealth just a little bit, everyone could have something. But, I know that will never happen. People are stingy. I am not excluding myself from this statement. If you haven't realized by now, I never say things on here to point fingers at people. I say stuff on here that is true about myself that I have realized I need to fix. It is so easy to get caught up in a superficial world. America does not live in the reality of the world. Everyone here is so rich. So completely rich that it is ridiculous. I never realized this until this year. But, in this country we are brainwashed to think you have to have millions to be happy. People think they have to buy the next big thing to stay happy. Sure, it works for a while. But it eventually stops working. Then where do you turn?
Lately I have been making a point to pray little 'mini' prayers to God throughout the day. My whole life I have prayed at the end of the day. When I am half asleep in bed. How do you think God felt about that? He was probably not too happy with that. So I have been making a point to pray throughout the day. Every time a thought comes to my head that I need to pray about, I pray at that moment. I used to make a list in my mind of what I needed to pray about at night. Then I would go through the list during my nightly prayer. Yuck, that makes me sad to think about. Now, I feel like my prayers are so much more powerful. They are not long, but they are passionate and heart felt. I pray in the moment and I tell God exactly how I feel about situations. For example, when I see the news coverage in Egypt, I say a quiet prayer to God to be with these brave people and be on their side. Or when my anxiety flares up, I pray that God will calm me. Lately I have been praying a few of the same prayers very often. One of them is for God to help me love everyone. No matter what my past is with them, I want to show them love. That is what God tells us to do. Turn the other cheek. I have always had the problem of closing myself off and not showing emotions very well. So I pray that God opens me up and lets me show people how much I love them. In school people may have thought that I was stuck up or mean, but I promise on the inside I was not. I just did not know how to show emotion. I got really nervous around people and had a hard time carrying a conversation. I still get nervous, but it is not as bad. Social anxiety is something I could live without!! :) But, it is something that God gave me to live with. So I pray consistently that He calms me. The next big thing I have been praying is for God to help me simplify my life. I have always tried to keep up with the current trend, and it is tiring! I really do not care much about the current fashion trend. I honestly would be o.k with wearing my bathing suit all day, or sweat pants and soft t-shirt. But, since I cared so much about what people thought of me, I grew accustomed to shopping all of the time. I cannot tell you how much money that I have spent on clothes. on CLOTHES!! 200$ for a pair of pants!! really? It amazes me now. I pray that God helps me to be content with what I have. Because what I have is more than enough, I actually have too much. I have been going through my closet cleaning out stuff. I plan on having a yard sale. I would just donate it to a homeless shelter, but I am in need of some money for my trip to Haiti. So, anything that does not sell will be sent to the homeless shelter. Life is so much better when you are not worried with keeping up with the Jones'. I cannot tell you enough how much more beautiful life is. I enjoy the little things so much. Last year I went through a time where I my heart started skipping beats and fluttering. It was very scary for me. and I found out that it was from me worrying all of the time. At that time I was filling my life with so much clutter. Sorority, boys, clothes, parties.. it was killing me!! I was so worried about everything. It is so great not to worry about anything. I put everything in God's hands and I am confident things will turn out perfect for me. But, I not only pray that he will help my selfish shopping problem, I pray that he simplifies my life in other ways. I want to stop watching so much t.v. Or at least stop watching pointless t.v. I can watch meaningful t.v such as pawn stars, American pickers and swamp loggers right? :) I am not worried too much about those shows. I watch those shows when I am sitting downstairs with my parents. I watch those while spending time with my family. The t.v that I am referring to is the evil reality shows. The shows that are so filled with evil. It never fails, when I turn on the t.v when I am by myself I tend to watch a reality show. People watch these shows religiously. I watch the bachelor religiously, and it is not right of me. That hour could be an hour that I spend with God. I am putting Brad the bachelor above the Great Almighty God. I mean, I guess that is a little harsh. I do spend a lot of time with God, but I was just putting it in perspective. One show a week is not bad, but when people watch these shows for hours and hours. It is sad. People are turning the television into a god. I think I am going to give up television shows for lint. It will be tough, but it will make me grow stronger in God. Every day people become a little more brainwashed by this world. The world gets worse and worse every day. So my prayer is that I can do this. I also pray that other people would join me in this.
I mean, why do the Kardashians have a show? The whole time they sit there and talk meaningless talk. Sure, sometimes they are funny. But, there is no real point to the show. Take Deadliest Catch for example, the point of this show is to catch crabs. Big gigantic crabs while fighting for their lives in the arctic ocean. Now that is worth watching. But, the Kardashians? I still cannot figure out the point. People are addicted to their fairy tale life. It is NOT real life. Normal people do not live like that. Give me a show that follows a homeless person, or a person living in a third world country. Give me a show that will change the way people view the world. Give me a show that shows the reality of the world. Give me a show that is not focused on a filthy rich family and their daughters. All I want is for television to become real. Reality shows are not real life, they are the minority. Give me REAL television.
It scares me to see the world going the way it is today. Let's change this people! Let's not be so selfish. Let's learn to help people. There is so much hurt in this world, so many people who need our love. God said that it was harder than fitting a camel through the point of a needle for a rich man to make it into the Kingdom of Heaven. That is scary, right? It should not be scary. It is what we should be doing. We should stop storing up our money and start trusting that God will take care of us. We should help these people in need. Well, that is my two cents. I guess I get a little angry when I start talking about it. And I know I should not get angry, it is just hard not to. I have changed, and it has benefited me so much. I pray that more people have this same realization. The world really does not revolve around you. People do not care about what you wear, and honestly people do not think much about you. That sounds tough but it is the truth. Of course your family and friends think about you, but they love you for you. I read in my human growth and development book that people believe that everyone is constantly thinking about them. People worry so much because they think people are always watching them. But, it is just your mind. People are not constantly looking at you. I promise, it said it in the book.:) I struggled with that issue, so I know it is tough. Well, enough writing, lets start helping out the helpless!
Moments
You should click on the link above and listen to this song. It makes you sit and think. How many times have I just pretended not to see people in need so I would not have to help them? I have done that a lot. Too many times actually. Now I make a point to help the people who are helpless and in need. I believe it is something everyone should do. If we shared our wealth just a little bit, everyone could have something. But, I know that will never happen. People are stingy. I am not excluding myself from this statement. If you haven't realized by now, I never say things on here to point fingers at people. I say stuff on here that is true about myself that I have realized I need to fix. It is so easy to get caught up in a superficial world. America does not live in the reality of the world. Everyone here is so rich. So completely rich that it is ridiculous. I never realized this until this year. But, in this country we are brainwashed to think you have to have millions to be happy. People think they have to buy the next big thing to stay happy. Sure, it works for a while. But it eventually stops working. Then where do you turn?
Lately I have been making a point to pray little 'mini' prayers to God throughout the day. My whole life I have prayed at the end of the day. When I am half asleep in bed. How do you think God felt about that? He was probably not too happy with that. So I have been making a point to pray throughout the day. Every time a thought comes to my head that I need to pray about, I pray at that moment. I used to make a list in my mind of what I needed to pray about at night. Then I would go through the list during my nightly prayer. Yuck, that makes me sad to think about. Now, I feel like my prayers are so much more powerful. They are not long, but they are passionate and heart felt. I pray in the moment and I tell God exactly how I feel about situations. For example, when I see the news coverage in Egypt, I say a quiet prayer to God to be with these brave people and be on their side. Or when my anxiety flares up, I pray that God will calm me. Lately I have been praying a few of the same prayers very often. One of them is for God to help me love everyone. No matter what my past is with them, I want to show them love. That is what God tells us to do. Turn the other cheek. I have always had the problem of closing myself off and not showing emotions very well. So I pray that God opens me up and lets me show people how much I love them. In school people may have thought that I was stuck up or mean, but I promise on the inside I was not. I just did not know how to show emotion. I got really nervous around people and had a hard time carrying a conversation. I still get nervous, but it is not as bad. Social anxiety is something I could live without!! :) But, it is something that God gave me to live with. So I pray consistently that He calms me. The next big thing I have been praying is for God to help me simplify my life. I have always tried to keep up with the current trend, and it is tiring! I really do not care much about the current fashion trend. I honestly would be o.k with wearing my bathing suit all day, or sweat pants and soft t-shirt. But, since I cared so much about what people thought of me, I grew accustomed to shopping all of the time. I cannot tell you how much money that I have spent on clothes. on CLOTHES!! 200$ for a pair of pants!! really? It amazes me now. I pray that God helps me to be content with what I have. Because what I have is more than enough, I actually have too much. I have been going through my closet cleaning out stuff. I plan on having a yard sale. I would just donate it to a homeless shelter, but I am in need of some money for my trip to Haiti. So, anything that does not sell will be sent to the homeless shelter. Life is so much better when you are not worried with keeping up with the Jones'. I cannot tell you enough how much more beautiful life is. I enjoy the little things so much. Last year I went through a time where I my heart started skipping beats and fluttering. It was very scary for me. and I found out that it was from me worrying all of the time. At that time I was filling my life with so much clutter. Sorority, boys, clothes, parties.. it was killing me!! I was so worried about everything. It is so great not to worry about anything. I put everything in God's hands and I am confident things will turn out perfect for me. But, I not only pray that he will help my selfish shopping problem, I pray that he simplifies my life in other ways. I want to stop watching so much t.v. Or at least stop watching pointless t.v. I can watch meaningful t.v such as pawn stars, American pickers and swamp loggers right? :) I am not worried too much about those shows. I watch those shows when I am sitting downstairs with my parents. I watch those while spending time with my family. The t.v that I am referring to is the evil reality shows. The shows that are so filled with evil. It never fails, when I turn on the t.v when I am by myself I tend to watch a reality show. People watch these shows religiously. I watch the bachelor religiously, and it is not right of me. That hour could be an hour that I spend with God. I am putting Brad the bachelor above the Great Almighty God. I mean, I guess that is a little harsh. I do spend a lot of time with God, but I was just putting it in perspective. One show a week is not bad, but when people watch these shows for hours and hours. It is sad. People are turning the television into a god. I think I am going to give up television shows for lint. It will be tough, but it will make me grow stronger in God. Every day people become a little more brainwashed by this world. The world gets worse and worse every day. So my prayer is that I can do this. I also pray that other people would join me in this.
I mean, why do the Kardashians have a show? The whole time they sit there and talk meaningless talk. Sure, sometimes they are funny. But, there is no real point to the show. Take Deadliest Catch for example, the point of this show is to catch crabs. Big gigantic crabs while fighting for their lives in the arctic ocean. Now that is worth watching. But, the Kardashians? I still cannot figure out the point. People are addicted to their fairy tale life. It is NOT real life. Normal people do not live like that. Give me a show that follows a homeless person, or a person living in a third world country. Give me a show that will change the way people view the world. Give me a show that shows the reality of the world. Give me a show that is not focused on a filthy rich family and their daughters. All I want is for television to become real. Reality shows are not real life, they are the minority. Give me REAL television.
It scares me to see the world going the way it is today. Let's change this people! Let's not be so selfish. Let's learn to help people. There is so much hurt in this world, so many people who need our love. God said that it was harder than fitting a camel through the point of a needle for a rich man to make it into the Kingdom of Heaven. That is scary, right? It should not be scary. It is what we should be doing. We should stop storing up our money and start trusting that God will take care of us. We should help these people in need. Well, that is my two cents. I guess I get a little angry when I start talking about it. And I know I should not get angry, it is just hard not to. I have changed, and it has benefited me so much. I pray that more people have this same realization. The world really does not revolve around you. People do not care about what you wear, and honestly people do not think much about you. That sounds tough but it is the truth. Of course your family and friends think about you, but they love you for you. I read in my human growth and development book that people believe that everyone is constantly thinking about them. People worry so much because they think people are always watching them. But, it is just your mind. People are not constantly looking at you. I promise, it said it in the book.:) I struggled with that issue, so I know it is tough. Well, enough writing, lets start helping out the helpless!
Moments
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Forever could never be long enough with you.
So I am in love with Train's song 'Marry Me'. I know it has been out for a while, but I have never really paid attention to it. I guess since everyone I know is getting married & valentine's day coming up, I have realized how it would be nice to have someone. I have dated some really great guys (& some really terrible ones too), but it just has never felt right with them for some reason. I have dated so many guys and none of them have worked out, so I guess I have been a little down in the dumps thinking about it. I see people getting married so young, but thank goodness I have not married anyone yet. Not that they weren't good guys. They are good guys. I have just changed so much in the past few years. But, people are supposed to change. It is normal. I think that happens a lot in relationships and that is why they sometimes do not work out. I have learned a lot about relationships in the past few years. I have realized what I do not want in a husband. And now I am just trying to figure out everything that I do want in one. I am also finding out exactly who I am, so when I do find that special man, I can just be happy being myself. Yes, sometimes it is not fun being single (such as on valentine's day). For years I have dwelt on the fact that I was single and I have tried so hard to find someone. It is not worth worrying about. In the past 6 months I have realized that a relationship is supposed to be more than just dating someone because they are cute. You have to have a real connection & you have to better each other. So, I have stopped worrying about finding a guy. I am living my own life and squeezing every bit of life out it that I can. I know that God will send him my way one day. I know God has a beautiful life ahead of me, and he has a perfect partner for me.
It is not like I have a ton of guys asking me to go on dates or anything. Living in a small town limits your options. But, I am actually glad that I live in a place like that right now. I am learning so much about myself. But, I am going to be very selective of who I date from now on. I will get to know guys, but if I do not know 100% that I want to be with this person forever, I am not going to 'date' him. I am going to start getting to know guys extremely well before we even talk about dating. My problem in the past has been jumping into relationships without really knowing the person. So, I am going to solve that problem. This way, I will find someone that fits me. Someone that I can spend the rest of my life with.
I am not in a rush to find anyone, I am letting God work at His pace. God has huge plans for me, so I am going to try and do everything He tells me to do. If I follow God's plans, everything will become perfect with time. It is so easy to just date someone because you do not want to be alone, or you like having someone to take you out. But if you do not truly like the person, all it does is add clutter to your life. And, that is just the honest truth. It is tough to hear your grandma tell people 'sarah is never going to get married or have kids'. I could not believe that I heard this from her. I was like 'hello, I am right here.. I can hear you'. I guess it is a small town thing. It is like a rule that you have to settle down young. I do not really understand it. You do not know who you really are at such a young age. You change so much. But, it's all good. I am not cutting down small town values or anything. I just do not like living my life the 'way you are suppose to' according to other people.
Hearing Train's song 'Marry Me' makes me so excited to find the person that God has for me. The lyrics are:
Feel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now, we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do
Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way
Marry me today and every day
Marry me if I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will, say you will
Together can never be close enough for me
Feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you
And you're beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love and has finally shown her my way
Marry me today and every day
Marry me if I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will, say you will
Promise me you'll always be happy by my side
I promise to sing to you when all the music dies"
How beautiful are those lyrics? "Forever could never be long enough with you". When I find someone, I want to feel that way. I want to never part them. I want to be with them forever. Forever is a long time if you really think about it. But, I want to want to be with this person. I have dated guys before where I would make other plans so I did not have to see them certain weekends. That is terrible to admit, but it is true. When I find the perfect guy I will know because I will want to be with him. I won't get tired of him. He will keep me surprised and life will never get boring. I have asked God to give me peace in this subject in my life. I have asked Him to calm me and let me not worry. I feel so at peace right now, & I know that God has something great planned.
I guess the reason I am writing about love is because Valentine's day is coming up. I cannot wait for valentine's day. It is a day for love. I love Love! So it will be a day to show everyone that I love them. It is a beautiful day.
Here are some pictures from a night photo adventure from this past weekend!
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